Ah nyuts, it’s St Valentines weekend. It’s going to be even more annoying this year than normal because it’s on a Sunday thus turning this annual shit-fest into a long weekend of icy stares, over compensating, disappointment, barely contained rage and occasional inappropriateness. And that’s just the waiting staff. Gah! Gah and meh and if I may be so bold, ugh too. Obviously my major problem with working this most distasteful of days is the lack of tips. It’s a hard night to work due to the number of individual tables but when you factor the really shit tips on top it becomes a really hateful night to strap the apron on. Meh, again. I’ll say it like I always do, but really what’s the point, if you are going out this weekend for a St Valentines set menu including glass on champers and free plastic rose then do the right thing, share the love and tip the fucking waiter. It’s like a threesome but without someone feeling left out.

*****

I’m not going to ramble on about New York. Nothing more boring than a blogger waffling on for days about their latest holiday. It’s the modern day equivalent of being invited round for wine and a slide-show of you in flip flops. So as a final post on the whole wonderful experience here are our top places to eat in New York…

The Comfort Diner was cheap and good for massive carb filled breakfasts that set us up nicely for the day.And the coffee never stops flowing.

If the sound of piled high pancakes, bacon, sausage etc is too much then Balthazar on Spring Street may be a bit more like it. I fell in love with this place. It’s beautiful. Everything about it oozed class from the French styled uniforms of the staff to the decor and obviously the food. That said $80.00 for breakfast was pushing it even for me. But it was worth it and they had a photocopy of that day’s Guardian newspaper, which was nice. We couldn’t get a reservation for diner which was a kick in the throat but it’s a must do when we go back in 2012.The service there was refined and exceptional which only added to the bill but what the hell, it was worth it.

Also on Spring Street is Lombardi’s Pizza. Jesus wept that was the best pizza I have ever eaten. Magnificent pie. Truly magnificent. If you have never eaten there then you have never eaten pizza as good as this, fact. Lombardi’s was the first pizza joint opened in the US apparently although some other fill’e bagassa lays claim to that title as well. It makes no difference to me and it shouldn’t to you. Just get yer pie hole round their 18 inch pizza. Man I could kill, you, for a slice of that good stuff right now.

Sylvia’s Soul Food is not on Spring Street it’s in Harlem. The food, to be honest, wasn’t great. Actually it was average at best but the atmosphere in there was electric. We went there on the Sunday afternoon and the place was rammed, primarily with Europeans,  but we secured a table pretty quickly. To LMM’s mortification we were sat beside the three piece Gospel Soul Band. If the food wasn’t up for it then these people were. It was part gospel show part advert for their CD which you can take home to your country your state. She must have sung that line 30 times in the hour we were in there. Don’t go for the food, go for the craic.

The service in the Grand Central Oyster Bar was also exceptional. The food was good too, well LMM’s tuna was my Mahi-Mahi was more mehi-mehi. (two weeks people, two whole weeks waiting to use that line) But the restaurant, set as it is in Grand Central Terminal, is cavernous and odd and brilliant with a wine list as odd and as brilliant. It’s a good choice if you are a lover of all things from the sea as it has the largest fish menu I’ve ever seen.

On the Saturday night we dined at Smith and Wollensky. We were pooped from a very long day wandering about and nothing but steak would do to revive us. Plus I’m a committed carnivore and needed my fix. I’ve always been told by Irish people who have eaten steak in the US that their steak is better than ours. Bullshit people, bullshit. The steak in S&W was good, great even ,especially as it was the size of a small Japanese car but it didn’t have the depth of flavour of quality Irish beef. I wondered at first if I was just being biased but I had a conversation with a table of 8 American diners at work the other night all of whom were having steak and they agreed, ours is the best. But S&W was great fun, expensive, but great fun. Our waiter was from Dublin, obviously. But he had a heavy hand when it came to pouring shots of whiskey so he earned a fat tip for that alone.

Honourable mentions go to the restaurant in MoMA for their charcuterie boards, paninis and salads and also to Dean and Deluca rare beef sandwiches and soups which were well timed pick me ups after I had a moment of doubt on the top of the Rockefeller Plaza. I was fine for about three minutes then lost the plot as I remembered I am scared of heights.

New York is a magnificent bastard and I cant wait to go back…for pizza.

Balthazar, Dean and Deluca, Lombardis Pizza, Smith and Wollensky, Sylvia's Soul Food Well Done Fillet