The Fear, I has it.
I woke up in a blind and sweary panic last night. Memories flooded my mind and fear gripped me. The innuendo, the wandering hands, the noise oh the noise. And the fleshy bits, oozing and popping out from every angle. I’m not one who normally tells other people how they should or shouldn’t dress but seriously you’re 60, please give your granddaughter back her skirt. I pulled the duvet back over my head and wondered how to get out of having to work Mothers Day. To be honest it’s more Ma’s Day than Mothering Sunday in our restaurant. Don’t get me wrong, I would be just as easily offended if the restaurant was the epitome of Hallmarkedness (it’s a word). Mother’s Day is a anachronism from a bygone age that, in my mind, is more to placate than reward. Poo poo to the lot of it.
Still, I have to work it which is disappointing.
And as chum and fellow schlepper of all things epicurean Belfast Plate Carrier put it,”It’s the new St Patrick’s Day, you get to break yer lent for it.” Which is both accurate and frightening.
Ho and indeed hum. Have a good weekend.
I’ll leave you with this gem spotted via a Nialler9 tweet…
Puts a smile all over your face.
15 Comments → “The Fear, I has it.”
Well, at least I know where the Top of Pops’ special effects compositor from the 80s ended up.
dude, it’s a superb tune though eh…funny as fook video too
OHMYGAWD! i am so nicking this for dr. t’s birthday post! (#2 son) sorry y’all have to work another amateur night/day, sugar! xoxoxox
thanks for the ear worm. in at least triplicate. ouch. doot, doot….
I’m not buying the album ’til he gets a guest spot on “Yo Gabba Gabba.” That’s when you know you’ve hit the big time.
Yep. Mother’s Day is another one of those consolation prizes handed to women to gloss over the fact that they’re asked to do endless toil without pay.
I was chatting to MrTaxiMan one night and he said the only 2 days he wouldn’t work were his birthday and Mothers’ day – or “F***in Mentalists’ Day” as he put it, before describing the events outside a certain bar in West Belfast.
The only way to placate most* mothers these days is to subtly upgrade their medication but carefully opening the pills and combining two or three into one…
Not that most* mothers are ungrateful or anything.
*my
omg that man can finger waggle..pee’d laughin’ thanks!
I wish I could have this video come on automatically when I am at a table and they do not want bacon with anything. Just press a switch and have them enjoy it. Great stuff. Our Mother’s day is in May. A very cheap day to work.
I will not complain about my job today.
I almost panicked that Mother’s Day had crept up so quickly but then I looked at the calendar to discover that our Mother’s Day is in May – plenty of time to request the day off.
Yeah, the quote was accurate, but you didn’t manage to put across the smugness. I’m dodging that bullet, and the St. Paddy’s day bullet too. Enjoy!
(Laughing like Jabba the Hutt’s little mate)
For Jaysus sake, why did no one tell me you were back? Fecking spides get in when you least expect them to!
Good to see you pal.
I’m one of those poor childless lassies who doesn’t get to do anything on Mother’s Day