Status Update…
And I did, all day. And now I am too tired for words, written or otherwise. Suffice to say the highlight of the day was the woman who insisted on ordering off menu as she was lactose intolerant (she actually said she “couldn’t stomach milk n stuff like…I’m whatcha call it, intalerant so I am“) but managed to wolf down a cheesecake at the end of her meal. She made a right frigging song and dance about not being able to as much as look at a food that contained any milk or dairy let alone eat it.
“Do youse want me to die, cos I’ll die if youse make me eats this like?”, she was more dramatic than a room full of Oscar winners practising their acceptance speeches.
“No, no madam we certainly do not want you to die. I will check with the chef and see what we can do for you.” We generally prefer our guests not to die during service, it really does put a dampener on the day. But then again we weren’t actually holding a gun to her head and forcing her to eat the creamy mash nor any of the other cream and butter laden items. It’s not what we do, obviously.
So after a short and angry conversation with the chef, I say conversation but it was more a case of him shouting and me listening and furiously writing down a whole new menu for the charming young woman, I was back at the table taking her order.
Her food was specially prepared without any butter or milk or cream or any of that oh so good stuff. They went to extra effort to ensure she didn’t die during the course of her meal or any time after come to think of it, because like I say it really does tend to get people down. So you can imagine our surprise nay horror when she not only ordered but spooned down in two gulps a whole portion of dairy infused strawberry fucking cheesecake.
What’s up with that then?
But, as Saint Gordon of Ramsey would say, Mothers day, done.
19 Comments → “Status Update…”
Stupid hoor. TRUST YOUR WAITER, HE KNOWS WHA IS GOOD FOR YE!
yes, yes he does….
i suppose you could have called emergency personnel when she ordered the cheesecake, then had them stand beside the table while she inhaled it – just in case.
ha! i assume she just didn’t fancy our fancy set menu…meh
jaysus! these hallmark holidays bring out the fucking worst in people, sugar! or maybe it’s just sundays…xoxoxo
it’s not good when they fall on a sunday that’s for damn sure!
Sounds like a typical case of the low-fat diet.
Many women avoid cream and butter and oil because they think they’ll stay thin that way.
Problem is, your body needs fat.
If you cut it out of your main dish or diet in general, you’re always unsatisfied and hungry, which leads to doing stuff like scarfing down cheesecake because you think you saved all the fat grams from the meal and have earned it.
I dont know a single thin person on a low-fat diet.
I don’t know why chefs bother. I think everyone with an intolerance should be banned from restaurants. The rest of us would get served a bit quicker than.
yeah you could have a point there Medbh….but she did look great….no need!
not twitter, yes well i do agree…had a dude tonight scream blue murder as there were croutons in his soup and he was fearful of them….”bread’s a killer he said”….mook…
Well that is it for you guys but for us the day is May 9th. You must be glad that is over with.
What a c*nt. People like her make it hard on people who really do have allergies. I hope she got hit by an ice cream truck on the way home. Oh the irony.
uneducated drama queen…hope the cheese cake curdles
Oh Dear God. you know what? I’m lactose intolerant. Do you know who’s problem it is? MINE. Not the poor waiter at a restaurant I personally decide needs to deal with with mMY special problem. It’s like parents who bring children to fancy restaurants with velvet drapes and then act surprised and pissed when there’s no “kids menu”. Stay home.
Hi.
She doesn’t have an allergy, if she did she’d take it seriously and carry an Epi-Pen (says the woman with the Epi-Pen in her purse who just ate onion rings and is now paying for it). And even is she was lactose intolerant, it’s not going to kill her, but it may kill her family later when she starts farting like a water buffalo and hogs the bathroom all night. Either way, not your problem, the Oscars are over so there was no reason for her to get on like that.
Would have charged her double for special non dairy cheese cake! Then if asked told her it was made with lard.
Ahhh for the love of God! No doubt she was one of those larger ladies with corned beef legs and bingo wings. I’d have taken satisfaction by rubbing my helmet around the rim of her glass back in the kitchens.
…and yes, I have done it before.
Steve: yes but it’s out of the frying pan and into the fire of St Patrick’s Day…
Sherry: bwahahahaha
cat: have you had our cheesecake before? heh
hey Boxer and Fat Sparrow, I don’t mind working with people and talking to the chef and doing our best for them….but she was lying….fact…grrrr
weesumo: ha, charming chap….I like yer style
Jimmy: no, she was slim but had more jewellery than MR T….which was amusing..
It’s like the ‘vegan’ people. The ones that claim to be vegan and scarf half a bottle of Rioja or, on one memorable occasion a soft chocolate fondant (1/3 of which is buttery goodness) and her friend’s fresh cream. Or the woman who demanded a kosher meal, before having some lovely, old testament forbidden prawns. Despite my knowledge of Leviticus.
“holding a gun to her head and forcing her to eat the creamy mash”
Is that how it`s done in your restaurant Manuel?
Me:”I`m not tipping”
*Click, Click*
Me: “On the other hand my wallet will be so much lighter without any money in it”