I don’t want to go to bed…

could be Jim Allister, could be The Abominable Snowman....WHO KNOWS!?

Right, so I woke up at about 3.47am, roughly speaking, on Saturday morning. I had only been asleep for a couple of hours so I really wasn't best pleased to find myself awake again and not far away in the land of nod battling dragons and scoring wonder goals for United or gazing upon a fully balanced current account. Ah dream world is such a lovely, fiscally  perfect, place. But as I sat at the side of the bed I realised why I was awake, I had had a nightmare. Oh crikey mummy I had had a nightmare and then some!

I'm not going to go on about it but it did freak me out a little as it involved me and the twin evils of The Abominable Snowman and nakedness and now that I think about it I'm pretty sure Jim Allister was involved some how too. Which is very very odd. He's the Abominable No-Man, heh.

I couldn't go back to sleep until I had scoffed two chocolate Hob-Nobs and a glass of dilute orange. Which made me feel like a seven year old. Which was also odd.

But sometimes I do wish The Abominable Snowman was real and Jim Allister was just a myth, just a spooky bogeyman to scare us all into voting the right way. But he's not a myth, he's real. I don't want to go to bed now. I mean I can handle the Abominable Snowman, but I cant deal with Jim Allister, not when I'm naked.

What could it all mean?

Billy McWilliams has translated the TUV's Election Broadcast for Ulster Scots (not a made up language at all). Worth a look.