Sometimes the only way to react is to overreact
Oh poor Gordon Brown Pants. Cant go to the toilet without shitting on himself or rather cant get into a car without labelling a n. As shit as the whole ghastly affair was the over reaction was su-fucking-perb. Oh my god was it good. Every tosser managed to get themselves an interview, from her third cousin twice removed to the man who says hello to her every morning as she buys her copy of the Rochdale Argus. Don't get me wrong, I was hooked. I spent a very happy afternoon watching uncomfortable looking security guards standing outside the ordinary house of an ordinary woman waiting for the extraordinary Prime Minister to 'fess up and say sorry.
Good times.
But like I say the overreaction was awesome. It was a media wankfest of the lowest order. We have all done it haven't we, blurted out an off the cuff remark about somebody who was grating on our nerves? I mean I had a punter the other day that was metaphorically pissing all over my chips and ruining my night. I grin fucked him and when I got back to the bar I called him a, "shit muncher". He didn't hear me, lets be honest if he had you would have heard about it before now. He probably wasn't an actual shit muncher but he portrayed the spirit of a shit muncher and that was enough for me.
But just imagine how much poo would hit the fan if a punter was ever to actually hear what we said about them. Crikey. Something tells me a visit to their house to say sorry probably wouldn't save your job. Much like Gordon Brown Pants.
But I do remember a similar incident back in the olden days when I worked in the Hut of Pizza. It was late and dull but there was still one table left. They had basically taken possession of table four having been there for the best part of two hours. Two hours spent loitering in a Pizza Hut is no mean feat. The waiter that was serving them had done everything possible to get shot of them and had presented them the bill about three times only for them to order another drink or ice cream sundae each time. He was frustrated and stormed off for a smoke.
Surprisingly enough though they took the hint a moment later as I walked past their table and yawned. It's an oldie but a goldie. But as I was at the table digging out their change from my bum bag, bum bag classy, waiter chum reappeared through the kitchen and turning to one of the back of house staff roared, "Are those fucking wankers gone yet?"
I heard it.
The back of house monkey heard it.
The "fucking wankers" heard it.
I smiled, for what else was I to do, and sort of shrugged. They were mortified for a moment but that gave way in an instant to rage. I'm not sure you would call it an overreaction, I mean how else would you as a customer react to such a thing other than by going stark raving bonkers, but it was certainly a reaction.
They never really got to enjoy their pound of flesh as he resigned the next day before he got sacked.
So I say if you are going to react to something, overreact. It gets stuff done.
Unless you are complaining to me about something, obviously.
Once I told guests who were being dickheads that I worked there, but I wasn’t their personal servant. They didn’t like it one bit and tried to make a fuss. I took the menus and told them they were free to leave.
The thing that made them shut up and leave was when I wrote down the owner’s name and address.
He would have told them to go fuck themselves.
Savour the moments.
They don’t come often enough.
hahahaha….nice!
“We have all done it haven’t we, blurted out an off the cuff remark about somebody who was grating on our nerves?”
four times, just today – and technically the day isn’t over. do i win a prize?
Yes….you win the prize of loneliness….which is a good thing..
I caught it as it happened on the radio. I’m sure the rolling TV news channels drained every drop from it and then some but I heard what she said and to label her a bigot based on what she said has just wiped a million or two votes off Labour. Mention race, ethnicity or as she did nationality in any context and they go PC nuclear.
I hope the next person he opines on reams him with a buzz-saw. Let the TV news channels loose with that.
You may say something about someone while in their general vicinity, and always run the risk of them eariwigging, but short of being labeled as someone-who-talks-about-people-behind-thier-backs, it is nearly always safe to wait an hour or two and to get some distance between yourself and the recipient of your venomous slabbering so as to avoid any troublesome animosity…
…Unless you are Gordon ‘Brown Pants’ (haha) and Sky News have mic-ed you up so as to capture all your personable utterances squeezed from between your pained and studied clenched teeth smile.
Thank goodness for BBC World News which covered it in detail over here.
i really must send you my stress releif video, its just about 1 minute long a wee yellow cartoon chick singing a sweet ditty…starts with ‘i’m gonna kick somebody’s ass’ i sing it in my head throughout most of my day, or i hope its in my head
The overreaction is brilliant, especially when it makes “BREAKING NEWS” on the beeb. Bin laden has released a new demo? No, Gordon Brown Pants` gaff is way more important, put it on the rolling ticker in a big font!
overreacting DOES get things done, but typically requires too many aplogies, so I bite my tongue. I’m lazy like that.
I heard about it on last night’s news and when they said she had hired herself a publicist all I could think was “Lady, you need to move over here to the States, you would feel RIGHT at home!” People here will sue you for emotional distress if you hiccup near them.
as i have known you for years and was also present at said pizza the hut incident may i take this moment to say i ain’t no back of house monkey and if you persist with these slanderous comments i will have no hesitation in arriving at your work or house and extracting an apology by any means necessary
heh…monkey boy…hehehehe