Never Mind The Ballots
I'll not be voting today.
I didn't reach this decision lightly. I considered the options, such as they are, and decided I would be doing myself and what few principles I have a huge disservice by voting for any of the rabble that make up the political elite in this country.
Spoiled votes for the win!
Thieves, crooks, murderers, shouty shouty men, and women. There's hardly a one that's not compromised in one way or another. There's not a one who wouldn't sell their principles down the river for power and the expenses forms that come with it. Charlatans the lot of them. I watched the rerun of the Northern Ireland leaders debate the other evening. Depressing stuff.
I did consider voting Green but changed my mind after considering their shenanigans and malarkey down south.
And lets be honest people in this country don't vote FOR something they vote to keep the other guy out as evidenced with the pacts and withdrawals of the last few weeks. It was as shocking as it was undemocratic.
Plus not one party took any of my suggestions seriously -
The Manuel Manifesto! Eight steps to a fairer deal for Waiters!
- Tax relief on black shoes and trousers and access to "priest" black socks.
- A guarantee of better daytime TV. Doctors to be extended to a full hour with the long term plan of a Doctors channel.
- Guaranteed minimum standards for waiters staff meals. No more off cuts, stuff "found" in the back of the fridge, under the fridge or from the bin.
- Subsisting to be made illegal.
- McDonalds to be forbidden from calling themselves a restaurant chain and instead referred to as a, "Asses and nose burger chain"
- Waiters on TV shows to be given actual names and not simply credited as "Waiter".
- Terms such as "Waitress" and "Server" to be phased out and replaced only with "Waiter" after a period of education. Use of the other words will be made as politically incorrect as the N word etc.
- Tipping classes from an early age in all school, particularly English schools. Seriously.
So they can shove it up their moats the lot of them.
Never Mind The Ballots....here's a coconut finger.
Or Chumbawamba actually...
If I could vote for them, I’d vote Labour…just saying…and if you wanna see what happens with unity candidates just check the result of yesterday’s beetroot v coconut finger poll…
evil won…
that’s not good
Sorry, did you say something Manuel? I’m still laughing at Citeh, Hee hee.
Oh, and don’t vote Green I did. and look what they did to us here in the south. Grrrr!! Anyway pass us a coconut finger, seeing as votings finished. I better see what they taste like.
And why weren’t they in the tv debates??
aye the Greens were treated very poorly with that decision…
Before I moved to England I was like you… From the minute I got the vote I cursed the fact that I couldn’t vote Labour in the hope of shifting Thatcher. But now for the first time I really, really cannot bring myself to vote for the bastards. Too many idiotic foreign adventures and too much surveillance. And much as I despise them, THEY’RE STILL BETTER THAN THE TORIES. What to do?
here’s your answer…
So that’s vote beetroot then???
ha! you know what, they all promise coconut fingers but deliver beetroot…
Sounds good to me, I voted Green and look what I got. Think being promised the best organic fillet steak from them lucky Japanese cows that are massaged and fed beer all day, then ordering that from the menu only to find you are getting a nuked, chargrilled, twice blackened iceland volcano burger from ass & mouth “restaurant” chain, and then having to pay twice for it cos of carbon tax innit?
Not good. But seeing as how you’re up north, it doesn’t matter whether you vote or not. Sure aren’t your votes already counted, and all your dead rellies going back about four generatins?
heh…votail early and votail often…
“You can choose not to decide, you still have made a choice”.
from the book of Geddy Lee, Chapter 21, Verse 12….
Several points Manuel…
You should stand as a Waiter Party candidate next time.
You’re a sore loser in the beetroot vs coconut fingers poll but as a United fan I realise you’re just instinctively reverting to type. The mighty beet won, suck it up.
You should vote. The Greens aren’t the same shower here as down south.
In my constituency I have the choice of Robinson or 5 others. Boundary changes might help him, David Vance might take some votes away. I’ve love to see Naomi Long squeeze in. I don’t want to think of Naomi Long squeezing into anything else though. I also wouldn’t expect to read about her shagging a 19 yr old and the very thought of it would put me off my beetroot.
Have Chumbawamba washed yet?
Despite the might beet whooping your coconut finger ass I offer this as an olive branch… beetroot and coconut in harmony (in a Stevie Wonder sort of way)…
p.s. if David Vance got in I’d see it as my civic duty to walk up to Stormont and punch him hard in the face. With an iron bar. 1690 times.
Oh no you wear black socks?
Don’t they make your feet all smelly?
Ah wud spoil mine in those circumstance, o’er wise somebody will vote for ye. Still think there shud be a “None o’ the above” box oan the ballox paper.
I was thinking of voting Apple Turnover as they looked all sweet and sparkly with their puff-pastry deliciousness, but when I looked into them, there was just a big empty space with a thin green layer of slime at the bottom.
Shame really.
-Blod.
after 20ish years of not voting I finally went out and voted last year for my local MLA, only to have news break out 6 months later of his gambling addiction and other malarky, back to non voting for the rest of my life! bastards all of them!
I also made the decision to not decide here in our last election in the States. I could not bring myself to pick either one as I disagree with just about everything either one had to say or offer – it does not matter anyway (electoral college). Hell, I could not even make it past the primary election.
Once saw Chumbawamba when they supported Fugazi at the SFX in Dublin about 18 yrs ago……what I would have given to have had a copy of the spectator to hand….to read….for the comedy value…like.
I`ve just checked my socks. They`re not black, but really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY dark blue
Not Twitter, feck the waiter party. Manuel should be made leader of the Beetroot party!
Heh heh heh.
I’d vote for them
amen to that.