You must be at least a Katie Price to work here…
A study by a Cornell University professor, so it must be true (ha!) has found that waiting staff with "" make better tips than those not blessed with such attributes. Prof. Michael Lynn asked 374 waitresses to evaluate their physical characteristics, including breast size, and even asked them if they perceived themselves to be good looking or not. He then fed all this vitally important information into his super duper awesome, and most probably penis shaped, computer via a program called the Microsoft Tit-to-Tipulator®, probably. From all this he was able to deduce that waiters with bigger breasts make more cash money than those with smaller breasts. He even goes on to say that big boobs trump great service adding that great service accounts for only 2% of the tip.
My fat ass it does.
Oh sweet Mother of the Reflective Loveliness of Karen Carpenter has this chap got nothing else to be filing his time with? Seriously?
But now that we have this information thanks to the in no way creepy Prof. Lynn how should we use it? He suggests that restaurateurs should bear this titbit of information in mind when recruiting waiting staff as it would mean that boobier staff would be happier staff as they would be earning more money thus less likely to leave. He also says that this information is good for women as it gives them the opportunity to evaluate their "prospects in the industry."
Arrrrggghhh!
Oh dear, oh dear oh dear oh dear. What a massive fucking douchebag! Is this guy for real? Sorry C cups, you cant bring food to the table. He has previous though. In his simply patronising list of 12 ways to increase your tip he advises, amongst other things, that waiters should:
- "Personalize your appearance -- wear a funny tie, hat or flower to make you stand out", fuck off this isn't TGI Friday's.
- "Tell a joke or play a game with customers", Battleships? Poker? Hunt the university professor? Fuck off.
- "Draw a picture on the check", aye of me dropping soup on your lap. Fuck off crayola boy.
Thankfully not all the professors at Cornell are as one eyed as Michaeal Lynn. Law professor Sherry F. Colb suggested that restaurants institute a uniform gratuity rather than "utilizing a pay structure that turns unenlightened customers into the 'boss' in charge of determining a server's take-home pay." Indeed.
I am going to commission my own report and discover how many times the man that said, "large, non-droopy breasts would attract male patrons because that physique indicates greater reproductive potential" gets soup spilled on his lap over the next year.
What a fucking asshat.
It should be noted I probably have the most generous breasts in the restaurant and yes I do well with tips. I am not however convinced the two are related. Christ I hope not. [shudder]
Perhaps he just spends too much time in Hooters.
Maybe he’s a consultant for them…!
If I think long and hard about it I can’t ever remember giving a bigger tip based on breast size. Not even for a woman.
he’s full of shit. tips are based on service and all that goes into making it great.
Have you considered doing your own research?
Week 1 – Wear a plunge neckline.
Week 2 – Go topless.
Week 3 – Go naked.
Keep a tally of tips for each day and forward the tally on to Cornell University. You may, however keep the tips.
If you let us fondle your arse, we guarantee we’ll tip big.
If I leave the table happier & less hungry than when i sat down, having enjoyed interesting conversation & food prepared with care, result!
I find myself somewhere where the waiters wear “funny” ties,want to be my buddy & tell jokes & ….shudder…sing when it’s a birthday. Help! I’ve been drugged and kidnapped, please return me to my family.
my dream is now shattered, damn you smaller breasts!!!
what with the espresso cups?
Are you a performing monkey? No you are feckin not!
Had a run in with a seriously unpleasant waitress at the weekend. I ordered a ‘Create Your Own Pizza’ in a pub and asked for it to be made without cheese because cheese makes me ill. The pizza came down to me with cheese and when I told the waitress about my original order you would have thought I had pissed in her tea. She made me feel so bad about it but it was ‘Create Your Own’ dammit!
So when will you be getting implants?
So, in his world, all the checks are being paid by adolescent, hetero, horndog teenaged boys????
Hello, Long time lurker, first time poster here.
Being a man of TEH SCIENCE, and more specifically psychology, and having little better to do woth my time*, I thought I would take a look at this here wee article, as we should all be suspicious of how the popular media reports things like this (as they are generally more interested in grabbing your attention than necessarily accurately reporting scientific findings).
I haven’t been able to find the actual study he did (it may not have been published yet; which means that it hasn’t been peer-reviewed) but it would seem he has a long held interest in tipping, and why people tip, and has produced studies on the effect of attractiveness on tipping before. The underlying theory to this is fairly sound and well-established (that people are more inclined to seek approval from and do favours for ‘attractive’ individuals) but his methods and the inferences he makes from them are less so (taken from the AOL and Cornell Sun articles). I would question the use of self-report to poll these women as this could confound the results. For example asking people how attractive they think they are is more likely to be an indication of their self-confidence than of how attractive their customers view them. Confident people give a greater impression of competence, and competent service (perceived or otherwise) would seem likely to result in a bigger tip. There is also a cultural influence to consider here, as the sample seems to have been taken amongst American restaurants and waitresses, where tipping culture, amongst other things, is different.
The ‘suggestions’ he makes seem unprofessional, somewhat immoral and deliberatley headline-grabbing in a ‘PC-gone-mad’ kind of way. So all rather unnecessary really, unless he is simply keen to get in the papers.
*There are lots of better things I could do with my time.
it’s crap. i don’t tip for tits. and i might have just a teeny-tiny crush on Cacophonous…
Personally I think it`s all about the service, a smile on the waiters face, a “hello good evening” etc..oh well it`s been six seconds hasn`t it? have these…
Surely you’re evidence in support of the theory? Your fat man-tits and tips are strongly correlated.
you like thinking about them don’t you….mmmmm hairy….