Problems? Worries? Heartache? Waiter woes? Ask Manuel!
Not sure which fork to use with which course?
Scared of angering the lovely waiter with silly questions about beetroot?
Not sure what to do when the pork tastes like a wrestlers jock strap?
Like wine? Like coke? Not sure if you can ask for a pint glass of wine mixed with coke?
Worried that the waiter will spit in your soup because you asked to move table three times eventually settling for the one you were first offered?
I have the answers and if I don't I'll just make it up or blame you for being a dunce. Seriously, I do that all the time at work.
Ask Manuel! is your chance to ask all those restaurant and waiter related questions that prevent you from having a good time when out for your dinner.
You can email Manuel your little problem at helpmemanuelplease @ gmail.com or
ask your question on any post's comment section or via or .
Testimonials from satisfied customers...
Plongeur asked about substituting, "Oh my, I feel all famous now! That’s rather excellent advice"
wondered how to deal with asshat waiters, "Lol, I shall bring a slipper and a firm tone with me in future"
Chum Natalie was concerned about how to deal with an over zealous waiter pushing specials on her, "Oh Manuel your advice has given me the confidence to dine out again. Thank you"
Obviously some people don't want to learn or grow or believe the waiter...
was skeptical with regard to my black pepper ceremony reasoning, "Expensive, my hole. Couple of quid for a grinder. Put small cheap ones on the table , preferably ugly, and no-one will steal them. Everyone’s happy. Also, I believe the bit about the dead flies. You’re hiding the evidence."
But more people are satisfied than not. So don't be shy and suffer in silence as you eat food you don't like and suffer service from a waiter who needs slapped upside his head. Ask Manuel!
Questions answered once a week.
I see what’s really going on here. You’re distracting us whilst a colleague skims our debit cards.
Don’t think I won’t see the secret winks.
a hahahahaha….i know yer pin number too….
I use a magician like wave, two fingers, two hands. It’s all over before you know it. I am the Keyser Söze of the keypad. That and the fact I’ll happily club anybody to death who I suspect of knobbling my card.
I look the other way..normally at other tables and queue the work up in my mind…or daydream…whatever
i have a question, sugar!
why do i have to enter my email address here every time i want to comment? xoxoxox
When if ever is it ok to ask for a doggy bay? or will the restarunt staff think you are a starvo/tight bastard,
easy question (i think): when paying with a credit card, is it better to leave a cash tip or simply include the tip on the credit card payment slip?
i tend toward the cash option, but feel terribly guilty if i don’t have sufficient cash for the tip, and tend to leave a larger tip if i’m paying it with credit… (god, i’m such a subservient waiter-worm. look at what you’ve created!)
Manuel. Should you tip friends who serve you? What level of friendliness does a tip not come into play? My personal philosophy is that if you shouldn’t be banging their sister, then you don’t have to tip. What say you, oh Buddha-like one?
What is the best way to make a good first impression on the waiter?
Here should that not be Grant not Phil??
No I’m Phil, you’re Grant. Dumbass.
what a brilliant idea
Oh ye of waitery knowledge tell me this,
When I have been in an establishment of hob nobbery in the past I often want wine with my scrans. So when the wine list comes I normally know the colour I want and usually the type of grape but as I narrow my selections I realise that my choice is one of the cheapest. Sir sour bake is making me a bit perturbed about requesting one of the cheapest wines on the list. But do I scale up go for a wine that is more costly than I really want, I dont really wanna spend 50 quid on a wine, or do I risk looking like a cheap skate and get the one at 22 quid?
Eh?
Dawniepants, you should get the house red. Come on, you know you’re eventually going to slam the menu shut in defeat and go for that one, why not save yourself the perusal time. I’m really quite the sophisticate as you can tell. *straightens cravat*
I would like to second Daisyfae’s question, as I have asked a few waiters this at billing time, but it is always a bit embarrassing and I usually forget what their answers are, having drunk too much house red by this point.
Dig your thinking rubbishknitter, I dont think I have ever gone for the house red, maybe you have solved my problem…..
I like my big bolshy new world merlots and then feel embarrassed because I’m meant to want to drink something French and expensive but erm I dont.
Im adding that to my vocab…’Ill have the house red please stop glaring at me’
nice
so when is dear manuel going to answer the questions? (yes, i missed that part) xoxoxoxo
on a tuesday or Wednesday savannah….depends how lazy i feel
Ooh, I have a question…
As I know nothing about wine, I usually just ask for a glass of red. When I don’t specify the grape/region/whatever, what do waiters usually bring you? The cheap crap? Or the wine with the highest mark up?