Finally, blogging pays off!
I was lazing about the house the other afternoon when I was rudely snapped out of my pre-work malaise by a rap-tat-tat from the front door. I do not welcome callers, be they hawkers, traders, opinion seekers or soul worriers. In fact the only caller welcome at my door is the kebab man, we welcome him and his pita pockets of reclaimed lamb and salad. That said I do welcome the postman, but only when he is bringing me my magazine subscriptions. He can do one the rest of the month.
Anyhoo I bolted, I say bolted but it was more of a lazy hobble, to my bedroom window and peaked down at the dubious looking chap in sports gear standing beside a Ford transit van that had clearly seen better days. Now I had not been expecting or had need for a dubious chap in sports gear or whatever was in his clapped out Ford Transit van. It looked to me like a van that might harbour a gang of suitably attired chaps hell bent on robbing me of my worldly goods and more. I wasn't up for any of that to be honest and I waited to see if he knocked at the door again.
Funnily enough he did.
I was torn between answering the door and finding out what he wanted and the desire to not get beat up and robbed. But he spotted me. Why must I be so large? Why?
"All righ?", says the dubious chap in sports gear for he was from that Dublin. Which explained the van. Heh.
"Oiv a delivery 'er for ya. Soign here fella..", and he hands me a clipboard with my name on it.
And with that he handed me a heavy blue bag and off he went. Just like that. Well not before he winked at me in a cheeky chappy sort of way and hollered, "All right den, sees ya." Lovely chap.
I opened the bag and what should I find in it but a parcel wrapped in wax paper tied up with string. Now I hadn't seen The Cousin in a day or two and was worried somebody was sending me bits of him via courier van. If they thought for a minute that I was gonna hand over hard earned cash to get him back they were sorely mistaken. I thought they had best sharpen their cleaver. But I braced myself, took a deep breath and went at the string. Five minutes later I gave up and retrieved a knife from the drawer. Sake.
But as I unwrapped the parcel it became clear that it wasn't the severed limb of my cousin but a big joint of pork. A great big joint of porky goodness. Oh how I danced round the kitchen. Pork post? How delightfully Irish and wonderful and unexpected. And not as one wag suggested a message from the Irish mafia. I had completely forgotten that those magnificent bastards from had promised to send me some pork samples. I had put it out of my mind reasoning that they would send me a slice or two of bacon and maybe a sausage from Billy Bob's farm shop in Ballygofiddleyerself (Co.Clare). But no, they sent me a whole rack of pork.
Good times and good things really do come to those who wait and then write about it.
Now what to do with the beastie!
Behold, pork in all it's unwrapped glory...
Any ideas?
Eat it.
oh what a beautiful sight…I’m salivating.
Not Twitter…cheers mate…I really was stumped..
Sayzabee…but isn’t it..!
Aieee!
Manuel, it looks like a dead baby parcel in the first pic.
Now I have the sads.
Poor piggy.
Sniff.
Excellent! Though ive i feeling we’ll be eating it for ages!!Good job your off on Sunday!pork all round Good times!
heh…. I thought you might disapprove…never fear I shall do it justice…
LMM: heh…. I thought you might disapprove…never fear I shall do it justice…
You work daily with a team of chefs and you’re asking us?
Ya jammy bastard!!
I’m still waiting for my barrel of Guinness.
Not Twitter: that lot? They have to google search before peeling spuds…sake…
Grandad: throw in a few posts about the black stuff….oh right…you have done…heh
Disapprove? It’s a welcome change from goujons!!
sorry….meant Medbh
Seeing as you REALLY are asking us… this is close to what I’d do… and will save me typing.
The pig truly is mans best friend. Dogs are ace n’all but yer not gonna eat em, well unless yer chinese or from lisburn.
cheers Not Twitter, I’ll eat some for you….weeker…
The Cousin: oi, less of the stereotyping/racism…Lisburn people are people too…heh
I *seriously* need to start writing about Islay single malts…
ha, if that works i’m gonna do it too…
parcel pork? nice. i have to get all dressed up to go out for a fine porking…
that’s a hellva lot of the other white meat, sugar! xoxoxox
Oooo, this is almost as exciting as the day some Bloggy Yorkshire pals sent me a packet of !
It was my first taste of ‘em and I’ve never eaten another pork scratching since.
mmmmmmmmmmm, Pork…..
Herb-crusted rack of pork with green beans and Parmesan potatoes. (I’m drooling right now. It’s a very attractive look, I’m sure.)
Just roast it. Take the bones out first then rest the meat on them in a roasting tin. Cook at a med heat quite slowly until the meat is falling apart. Then you can chew the meat from the bones and carve the rest up. Serve with your favourite veg and cider gravy. Heaven.
Failing that… send it to me and I’ll do it and post photos
I’ll be round at lunch.
From the last photo it seems you may have serious mustard dependency issues.
Ooh – that looks lovely! I got a monster lump of a loin myself… it’s going to be a Porktastic weekend…
I have a great diet coke marinade recipe…. works great with ribs and chicken…. im sure it would be just as sticky, sweet and completely morish on a pork rack…..
You’re certain now that’s not pork of the ‘long’ variety now? You’ve checked for tatoos an all, yes?
If you’re certain, I suggest a long slow-roast in a heavy glaze of honey, mustard, soy and garlic. Finish at the end with a dousing of sesame seed. Mouth-meltiness!
-Blod.
Christ thank God you wrote about this Manuel, it reminded me I had forgotten to email them my address for my ‘meat parcel’! I just received an iBrew in the mail yesterday, just attempting to make my first batch of beer right now.
Give that puppy a nice dry-rub of rosemary and cracked peppercorn, let it sit for a couple of hours, sear it and then roast it, low and slow…….then revel in its porkaliciouness!
I got the same pack – brined then roasted it. Came out fabulous. Just posted about it in today’s blog…
Haha! Great post.
Got to be one roast and the rest some herby chops, no?
Are you SURE that’s not your cousin?
Pork in the post! Life just keeps getting better and better
PORK! nom nom nom nom….
Heavens no!
I’m not going with disapproval.
Afterall, I cook and serve meat for others all the time.
I just prefer when it comes in a tidy package so you can’t tell it was a living thing. I’m a lame cop-out when it comes to the animal flesh.
Don’t mind me.
Wowzers – lucky you! Maybe a herbed crust and then roasted? Or marinated and bbq’d?
Usually the only situation in which you can never decide what to eat is when you don’t have any food… I never though it would happen when you have a ton of food though!
Huge pork stew?
“Bacon? Ham? Pork Chops?”
“They all come from the same animal, dad!”
“Sure Lisa, a wonderful, ‘magical’ animal.”
Oh you BASTARD. You lucky, lucky BASTARD.
Here am I, stuck next to the Sands of Araby, with not so much as a rasher to grease my pan and you are getting lumps of free pork from the Free State. Great, steaming lumps of sweet, sweet pork.