Boys Don’t Cry? Oh yes they do!
It’s me, Little Miss Manuel with a message from Manuel.
After years and years of drinking gallon after gallon of strong black tea Manuel has finally gone and got himself a big dirty dose of kidney stones. He’s in the hospital but is fine apart from the constant moaning about the loud mouth breather in the bed next to his. I think he’s swinging the leg a bit and exaggerating how sore he actually is. This may be related to having been given his first ever dose of morphine. Last seen he was slipping off the bed whilst wittering on about unicorns and pretty shapes whilst smiling and gurning like a mid nineties raver. Good times as he would say.
He has asked me to assure you that he will be back at his desk tomorrow. I’m not so sure. He also wants to know if there is a reliable black market in morphine. Please don’t answer that! He starts the week drinking champagne and ends it on morphine. Well that’s what you get if you don’t take me out. Bad things happen.
He asks for no flowers at this “difficult time” (ha!) but rather he hopes you would gather with the people you love at Belfast City Hall as the sun sets on Monday with candles and sing songs in his honour. He suggests the early work of The Cure (nothing past Disintegration) and anything by Steven Patrick Morrissey.
I’m not saying he’s a drama queen but if he tells me once more that the Doctor, a male doctor, told him that passing the kidney stones is worse than child birth I will strangle him with his own drip line. Hopefully his iPhone will run out of battery power soon and he can stop sending me instructions from his hospital bed.
He should be out tomorrow and he will no doubt be eager to share the whole dramatic story with you. Aren’t you lucky?
Little Miss Manuel.
21 Comments → “Boys Don’t Cry? Oh yes they do!”
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You mean he’s having roughly the same pain as we get every month… feckin’ lightweight wuss. Give him a back, crack & sack to take his mind off it (and make him all pwetty for the doctors)
p.s. pethidine is WAY more fun than morphine
I’m now trying desperately to separate the words Manuel and childbirth in my minds eye…….need some mental brillo pad.
Why would the doctor say something like that? Notwithstanding the fact that he can’t compare, cos neither he nor anyone else has ever given birth AND passed a kidney stone through their wee-wee.
But also why would you scare someone like that? A man is an easy creature to scare, especially in a hospital.
since tomorrow is a holiday here, i shall spend it in sorrowful drink for our dear pal, sugar! bless your heart, LMM, for not slapping the back of his head and saying it was an accident while y’all trying to fluff his pillows! xoxoxoxo
Oh noes!
Poor, poor Manuel!
That bites so hard.
Then again, morphine is awesome.
I had some when I threw my back out and was unable to stand.
All the best to him.
Kidney stones are a gateway ailment. Soon kidney stones won’t be enough for him and he’ll be hankering after the serious stuff.
p.s. how many enemas does it take to get rid of kidney stones?
pass my well wishes to the big M i’ve sorrly missed him.
and little miss m, stay strong…he just doesn’t know better
Poor Manuel! Best wishes and hopefully he’s out of hospital soon!
thanks for the update, LMM… seems an opportune time to rearrange the furniture in his flat. if he comes home, tripped out on morphine, it would be really fun to watch him try to locate the sofa…
you’ll use any excuse to get some free morphine into you hey manuel? haha i jest! all the best for a speedy trip outta the hospital!
Just read this, now I feel bad for mocking you. Get well soon.
Kidney stones often do not cause any symptoms. Usually, the first symptom of a kidney stone is extreme pain, which begins suddenly when a stone moves in the urinary tract and blocks the flow of urine. Typically, a person feels a sharp, cramping pain in the back and side in the area of the kidney or in the lower abdomen. Sometimes nausea and vomiting occur. Later, pain may spread to the groin.
If the stone is too large to pass easily, pain continues as the muscles in the wall of the narrow ureter try to squeeze the stone into the bladder. As the stone moves and the body tries to push it out, blood may appear in the urine, making the urine pink. As the stone moves down the ureter, closer to the bladder, a person may feel the need to urinate more often or feel a burning sensation during urination.
awww! poor Manuel, sounds ow-y. Hope he gets well soon!
Ouch! Manuel has my sympathies, and I’m quoting my neighbour on this “it’s like giving birth to ten elephant’s, wimmin’ wouldn’t know of such pain”. His wife disagreed and he spent the night in the shed.
Thank-you all for your good wishes for Manuel,honestly by time this is over I’m going to need one large drink of champagne! Manuel on other hand has to stick with bottled water!
LMM, a bottle of champagne is the least Manuel can give you. Photographic evidence required. Perhaps a little holiday to help him convalesce.
ellie…I’m unwell…I’m not blind…heh
I’m not saying he’s a drama queen
Fine. I’ll say it FOR you.
oooh thanks for that….[sulks....dramatically]
If you think the morphine is good, wait til they hook you up with some Dilaudid. That’s what they gave me when I had a kidney rupture and it made morphine seem like Tylenol by comparison!
Kidney rupture eh…how do I go about getting me one of those bad boys? hmm?