The Boy who Cried Wolf…
There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, "Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!"
The villagers came running up the hill to help the boy drive the wolf away. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found no wolf. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces.
"Don't cry 'wolf', shepherd boy," said the villagers, "when there's no wolf!" They went grumbling back down the hill.
Later, the boy sang out again, "Wolf! Wolf! The wolf is chasing the sheep!" To his naughty delight, he watched the villagers run up the hill to help him drive the wolf away.
When the villagers saw no wolf they sternly said, "Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'wolf' when there is NO wolf!"
But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down the hill once more.
Later, he saw a REAL wolf prowling about his flock. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, "Wolf! Wolf!"
But the villagers thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn't come.
At sunset, everyone wondered why the shepherd boy hadn't returned to the village with their sheep. They went up the hill to find the boy. They found him weeping.
"There really was a wolf here! The flock has scattered! I cried out, "Wolf!" Why didn't you come?"
An old man tried to comfort the boy as they walked back to the village.
"We'll help you look for the lost sheep in the morning," he said, putting his arm around the youth, "Nobody believes a liar...even when he is telling the truth!"
And that shepherd boy was called , the worst football commentator of all time. It's like he's faking sex, he gets excited and shouts at all the wrong times. You'd be better off whistling the theme tune to Hawaii Five-O than listen to his excitable analysis of a man taking a throw in. Between him and the TV in the staff room they ruined the Holland v Uruguay match for me.
Sake.
yet another reason i fed my television to the sheep. yappy sports commentators can suck it…
the radio is no better….worse even!
we turned the sound down during the matches because of the horns (no, i don’t remember how to spell that word and i can’t (as you say) be arsed to look it up).
xoxoxoxox
ha! I was hoping they would drown the commentary out!
The horns are called vuvuzela’s and they are bloody irritating. Try having your whole neighbourhood blowing them. I stay in South Africa and with the opening match had the whole bloody country blowing them.
I would rather listen to a 1000 of them than 1 Clive!
“the TV in the staff room” – so that’s were all the waiters hide whenever i need some cutlery….
It wasn’t until a commentator mentioned that the sound your hearing is them bloody vuvuzela’s that I realised my TV wasn’t in fact knackered.
Quotes of Mr Tyldesley:
“One or two of their players aren’t getting any younger.”
“He went through a non-existent gap.”
“He is the man who has been brought on to replace Pavel Nedved. The irreplaceable Pavel Nedved.”
“Forlan has played in 15 games now… and he’s nearly scored in all of them”.
“What’s this? Ninety minutes on the clock and Manchester United haven’t scored. They have to score, they always score… Sheringhaaaaammmmm!”
“That’s a bit high from Mutu… oh, wrongly phrased I think!” [given Mutu's drug problem at Chelsea]
The combination of Clive and the vuvuzelas has dampened my usually ardent enjoyment of the game.
With 20 minutes left in a game that is tied 1-0, he declares that the team with one point are ready to win it.
And if a player looks like he has a good chance to score a goal, he wets his pants and says “He’s about to score!” regardless of the fact that the ball isn’t near the net yet.
I’m so incensed about this I was forced out of summer hiatus to comment here.
It would appear you are caught on the horns of a dilemma ! ( See what I did there? )