Darth Waiter… “What is thy bidding, my master? Steak again?”
If the beard doesn't wow the kids over, not that I care about wowing the kids or anybody else, I have decided that this will be my new look. I need a new look. Crisis? Me? No, just a bit bored, need to jazz things up a little. Maybe I could get something pierced. I was sharing these thoughts with The Cousin just yesterday past. I thought he wasn't really listening as he seemed to be much more interested in his tea and jam doughnut pre-dinner snack combo.
But he was listening.
"Mid-life crisis innit", says he as he flicked his tongue, ant eater like, at the strawberry jam oozing from his sickly sweet confectionery.
"Mid-life crisis my eye. I don't believe in mid-life crisis. I mean you don't see the men of the wild African plains trading in their oxen for sport, sexy, but ultimately impractical gazelles now do you?"
"Whatever....it smells like a mid-life crisis to me."
So I called him an asshole and stormed off back up to my bedroom and spent the next half hour looking at photographs of the young Manuel. Mid-life crisis? Pfft...
Anyhoo, Darth Waiter. Awesome eh. Plus by half way through most shifts I sound like Darth Vader, so I'm practically there.
"Your fate is now our own. Sever all ties with the past. Let no one know that you still serve me. Now go and remember, the Dark Side is always with you my Busser Chum. One day you will make a fine waiter"
"The force is with you, young Waiter Chum, but you are not a proper waiter yet."
All too easy.
Heh...
Hat Tip....chum Victoria...via .
Mid-life crisis? Worry if you start looking at bikes with go faster stripes.
if by go faster stripes you mean BMXs, cause that’s what I used to ride, then I will be wary…..!
I refer you to this, http://welldonefillet.com/2010/02/09/easily-excited/ in which you mention a Kona.
i loved my kona….it’s gone now…and now i have a sensible bike….it makes me sad…
To cheer you up a couple of jokes…
I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter asked me to cover his shift for 60 seconds.
I thought; “Wait a minute…”
I took my wife out to a restaurant last night. As I was eating, I accidentally dropped my fork on the floor. Kindly enough, a waiter replaced it with a nice new one.
I thought, “That was good,” and tested it again by dropping my napkin on the floor.
Surely enough the waiter came along and replaced it with a brand new one so I pushed my wife off her chair and waited.
oooh, I like the Darth Vader look! Very dapper.
say what you want about mr vader but he got shit done…
Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last
known trajectory…they blew past the podium!
arf!
hehe. and just think about all the muttering and eye-rolling you can get away with under that helmet!
but where would the fun be in that….I do my eye rolling out and proud…!
Sweet that means you can be grumpy, dismissive and ignore the bottom feeders…
.. hang on, you do that already – I detect no change!
me either…
“I find your lack of tip disturbing.”
*choking noises*
oh for the power…
Embrace that mid-life crisis! Let’s face it, there’s nothing we can do. Ditch the Darth Vader idea (Sith happens…) You are more of a Jedi Knight of the waitering world. What with the beard and passing on your waitering wisdom to your apprentices, I see you not as Darth Vader, more as Obi-Man Kenobi!
I’m Vader….he’s ten thousand points cooler….cooler? probably not…
Mid life crisis ? Mid life crisis ? Have you not read your contract ?
I refer you to clause 3 subsection 45, which clearly states: NO MEMBER OF WAITING STAFF IS PERMITTED TO HAVE A MID LIFE CRISIS WHILE ON DUTY ! (NO EXCEPTIONS)
ALL CRISIS MIDLIFE OR OTHER WISE MUST BE LEFT AT DOOR & PICKED UP AGAIN AT END OF SHIFT !
I hope this has been of some use to you. Now think on !
boss? is that you?
“He will eat this or die, my master.”
And i think the Darth Vader helmet needs a spoiler and some go-faster stripes.
probably….!
It needs a beard daisy.
But you just know Manuel would use the force for bad, his jedi wave making the chefs dance around like monkeys in the kitchen, forcing customers to eat what’s not selling, tip him humungously etc.
It’d be like that episode of the Simpsons where Bart has Godlike powers.
*jedi wave*
I use my jedi skills as it is to make regular coffee decaf….quality
I thought Chewbacca more than Darth Vader, what with the beard an all.
Accusations of a Mid life crisis presupposes the movement from childhood to adulthood…The nerve!
I’ll chewbacca you matey….whatever that means…
Probably Molt all over the place
no probably about it….I’m a molter and no mistake….