Perspective…
Dear Mr Shit Shirt (Not actual name),
Whilst you may think that raising your voice, stamping your feet, spitting and spluttering, calling people incompetent, swearing (I mean do you kiss your lady wife with that potty mouth?) and generally making a titamaboob of yourself is the correct way to react upon hearing the devastating news that we don’t have a table free at the window, I assure you it is not. Whilst I can, sort of, understand your disappointment at not being able to secure a table at the window where you can gaze upon the various street drinkers, ambulances, large boys on small bikes falling over and the many other forms of humanity that passes by I cannot for one moment get my head round your extraordinary and quite explosive reaction. I mean if you had reserved in advance and requested such a table then I would not only be able to understand but I would have gone out of my way to ensure that people were moved to accommodate you, your charming wife and your very shit shirt. But you did not reserve in advance.
Your reaction was in a word, ridiculous.
May I suggest you take a moment to gaze upon the magnificent sight that is the newly discovered star, R136a1.
Glorious isn’t it. Behold it’s majesty and it’s size. It is almost 300 times larger than our own sun you know. Now think for a moment about your problems – shit taste in shirts, no table beside the window and a tendency to overreact in the very worst way to the tinniest and in the whole grand scheme of thinks most pointless and trivial of matters. Now think again about the beautiful R136a1 star. Eh, makes you think doesn’t it?
Perspective innit.
It’s a wonderful thing.
Your sincerely
Manuel T. Waiter
26 Comments → “Perspective…”
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….oh sorry were you saying something? i was distracted by the pretty star pictures soz
Cat, this stuff – big stars, outer space, far flung galaxies, star wars – just blows my mind….it’s awesome…literally awesome…and for me really puts all the little stuff all the shit and nonsense in perspective….for a bit anyhoo….heh
i hear ya, exactly why i was distracted by the star pictures…makes my days a little easier thinking about way out there..the beauty of it all
you just wanna stare at it eh….It’s just so beautiful….
titamaboob….QUALITY! Been looking for a new name for my boss since ‘gonna kill that boy’ has been well-worn out.
it’s a Charlie Brooker word….it’s mint though eh….
but sadly, he’ll never know just what a miserable excuse for a piece of humanity he really is, sugar. but even worse for him, he’ll never gaze upon the stars and experience wonder. more’s the pity. xoxoxox
no…no he will never change…
I’ve had plenty of tants as a kid, or as my parents called it “oh, he’s just being awkward”. I’ve grown out of them but I can still get pissed off like anyone can, but not over the trivial stuff. Can’t sit where I want to? Meh sayeth I.
http://i1017.photobucket.com/albums/af291/Sparky362/pillars-of-creation.jpg
http://i1017.photobucket.com/albums/af291/Sparky362/horsehead.jpg
Two of my favourite pics of the universe.
awesome….just just truly awesome…
Did Darth waiter do this?
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2010/07/22/2010-07-22_darth_vader_robber_and_thats_no_lightsaber_hes_wielding_at_li_bank.html
bwahahahahaha….bad darth vader….!
That’s a long way to send him for a window seat, Manuel
Still, minimum safe distance and all…
Have a great (big fat tip-filled) weekend.
-Blod.
hahahaha….will do…well I hope I will….
Watercress wrote a lovely wee song on this very theme (with a food-related first chorus, no less). Just thought I’d share:
http://www.last.fm/music/Watercress/_/Stars+Shine+On
“Verse”. Of course, I meant “verse”. Not chorus.
Where’s my edit function?
it;s okay…..it;s early isn’t it….It must be early somewhere…
watercress eh….it;s been a while….
Watercress ah the memory’s
What an absolute self-absorbed tit.
You should have a high chair for adults like that
who me? oh you mean him….heh
What ever happened to the maxim The customer is always right ?
He She or It ( Delete as applicable ) may be an Asshole………….but………They are always…Right !
If the world is just the size of a grain of sand, how big are his problems then?!
Manuel, I hope you kicked him out and told him NEVER to return, childish behavior is not tolerated at your fine establisment.
@Dingus, the customer is NOT always right. It has all to do with the way the customer behaves him/herself.
Hi Peter, Thank you for your comment, however, I should point out that a
waiters only duty is to serve, no waiter has the authority to bar anyone
from any establishment, it must be remembered that it is the public who
pay the waiters wages, it is NOT the other way round !
Hence I repeat, The customer is always right !
Now if you will excuse me, I need to go and lie dowm in a darkened room &
dream of Leek & Potato soup!
I can see Uranus.