Guest insults waiter, guest gets kicked.
My, the insults are coming in thick and fast at the moment. It's like being at home.
It was Monday night and all was jolly. The guests I had all seemed to be out for special reasons, birthdays, anniversaries, the death of a long time friend and dog (there are no cakes or songs that a waiter can sing to ease the pain of that situation) and so on. The night was coming to an end and I had just helped the Canadian woman, who was travelling around Ireland on her own, differentiate our many different types of coins when the chunky couple on six indicated that they wanted the bill. I gave them the international sign for, "two minutes just helping this Canadian woman with her cash". Despite looking like a dyslexic deaf person they seemed to get my point.
A moment later and I was standing beside them and having a jolly old chinwag about the provenance of our beef and the quality of food generally available in Belfast. We all bemoaned the lack of a Waitrose, well to be honest I couldn't give a monkeys but the matter of the tip was still live so I had to go along with it. In the end we ended up wittering along for a good ten minutes about everything from food to the movies of Leonardo Di Caprio. I love giving opinions on movies I haven't seen. It's like being the Pope, you know, giving advice and pontificating about shit and stuff he doesn't know anything about. Good times!
Anyhoo, as the woman, who appeared bored with the conversation, dug about in her bag for what I hoped would be some cash her husband sat back in his seat, clasped his hand to his chin and fixed himself like he was about to say something prolific.
"Tell me, Manuel..."
"Yes sir?"
"How come you're still a waiter?"
Cunt.
Now before I could answer the man bolted upright in his seat, squealed, swore and screamed at his wife.
"What the fuuuu Janine? Seriously? That really hurt!", said yer man as he rubbed his shin.
She fixed a look on him that to my mind probably hurt more than a stiletto to the shin. Turning to me, I was still waiting to get paid, she stuffed more than enough money into my sweaty hand to cover the bill, my tip and a taxi home. Guilt tips, mmmmm lovely lovely guilt tips.
Still, what a dick! If this carries on, these why are you still a waiter type insults, I'm gonna start asking myself why I'm still a waiter.
That won't end well.
He thought it was the Mrs who kicked him?
hahahahaha….and he cant prove otherwise….
You don’t already ask yourself that on the regular? I ask myself why I do what I do almost every day. I just realized the other day that I make less with a Ph D than the custodians who clean my building. Shoot me now. Please?
that’s why I went back to waiting instead of management…..more wonga innit…
Manuel, chalk his comment up to bad manners rather than a cause for existential crisis.
Coming from an unemployed woman with a P*hache*D.
ha, I’ve forgotten it already….!
whats wrong with being a waiter? i thought you were good at it was the reason.
nothing and I am….very if I say so myself….!
There is feck all wrong with being a waiter. It’s bloody hard work so yer man can go and fuck himself.
I’m angry today apparently.
I like you when you;re angry….!
Next time, tell them that the Waiting job is just a cover and you’re actually a Russian spy, best to do this after they tip.
I’ll wise oh wise one….
You should tell those knob ends that it’s a stipulation in the terms of your “Early Release” that you can only work as a waiter, as that’s what you trained for in the Maze. Practice your “Oz” look as you sharpen your “Shank”
My Oz look eh? Not sure I can muster something that frightening….heh
“How come you’re still a waiter?”
Cunt
I hope you know you almost made me choke on my soda, Manuel
Short, sweet and oh-so-to-the-point!!!
I learnt everything I know about swearing from Midnight Run….!
Waiter Waiter on the floor who’s this asshole comimg in the door, will he tip or knock me back or will I have to give his shins a crack !
hahahahahaha trememdous…..you are now the official poet for WDF…it’s a position without pay…obviously…
My God man!Have you gone out of your senses!Appointing some jumped up member of the prolatariat as your ‘resident Poet’! I have never read such a load of pretentious puffed up bilge,since the last Archer novel.You must have had one of those dashed moments like a politician sometimes has,when an original thought enters the vast empty tundra of what passes for their brain,only for it do die of loneliness in some far flung corner of their dome.
I demand that you resind this ‘poetic’ waster’s portfolio immediately.