Have you been wronged? Tell me about it…
When not schlepping plates, walking up and obviously back down mountains, maintaining this place, attending to the lunacy and indeed machinations of the Dear Cousin, whispering sweet nothings into the ear of Little Miss Manuel I spend my free time writing the-book-that-will-be-finished.
It's writing at a slow pace punctuated with spurts of positive activity. Much like Dimitar Berbatov.
Anyhoo it's all about me and more specifically you, the dining public and about how your loveliness is blurred by your wanton desires for curried unicorn and fairy cakes made from actual fairies and your ridiculous understanding of what customer service is. It will be a title as sweary as your average Tarantino flick, but with less deaths and hot ladies clad in leather. Not to say there won't be some deaths. Heh.
Now, obviously the book is written from my perspective as a waiter but lifting my head up from my waiter filled world I know that others suffer too. Taxi drivers, bar staff, retail workers, sandwich makers, civil servants almost anyone working in a position that has to deal with the never ending delight that is the general public knows how odious they can be. People can be cruel, rude, petty. They make demands that are impossible to deliver and expect you to do it all with a smile on your face because, you know, the customer is always right.
So I want to hear from you people, those who toil in the customer facing positions. You magnificent bastards,
If you want to get your story featured in the book-that-will-be-finished then email me at yesmanueliwantmystoryfeaturedinyourbookfornomoneyorcclaimsoffutur[email protected]
Spread this message about, maybe you know someone who works in such a job? Maybe you have heard stories of behaviour most horrid?
Cheers folks, if I can get enough stories I'll only have to write an introduction. That's the dream.
Heh...
That’s the longest damn email address I have ever seen!
heh….it’s just a link to my standard one…arf!
Oh no it’s not!
Just try clicking it.
Arf!
the bastard!!! it worked earlier….cheers old chap for the spot
fixed…
Does that mean I get a mention in the book? Heh!
Yeah, I want a mention in the book too. Just because.
My my that’s a real can of worms you have opened here, you do realise by the end of the week your website is going to look like the Jeremy Kyle show !
Infact, most of the stories you will get probably started on the Jeremy Kyle show.
Look deep into your heart Manuel, is that really the way you want to go ?
Walk away now while there is still time with dignity & your head held high, no one will hold it against you.
You know it makes sense.
PS: Just for the record’ I don’t want to be in your book, nothing personal you understand, I am above such things ! (Reverse Psychology at work here )
PPS: Have to go now, The Jeremy Kyle show is on in a minute !
My dear Manuel.I’m afraid,I have to agree with your earlier correspondent,Dingus.( Such a strange sobriquet,the fellow must be a dashed deviant)!You will undoubtedly open the bally proverbial Pandora’s Box!
Draw back now,my good fellow,if only for the sake of your sanity.Every loony on the list will be in contact with you.People seeking advice on ther vampire gerbils,blokes that have been probed my aliens,aliens that have probed by blokes!
The loony responses will be coming in so fast,you will need a shovel to get near the computer.
Dash it all! You cn’t be that desperate for stories,use the Cousin for strange yarns,there must be enough material there to keep Dome doctor’s conventions going for years!
Start thinking now about what you’ll wear to the book signing.
I clicked on the link and my computer said “Hahaha, no royalties for you”
Just a heads up, but you may want to check out Steve Dublanicas ” Waiter Rant”.