Chuffy v Dingus…You decide
Right lets get this settled once and for all...
In the Dandy gentleman's corner fighting out of the 1800's we have Lord 'Chuffy' Chuffington
MANUEL WATCHS WHILE HE WAITS
Some Waiters’ fill out their little black books
With orders for drinky-poo’s and other things,
They talk about the weather and things to do.
Hoping the diners tip like foolish Kings.But, our Manuel's strange and dark little book
Takes note of some very odd things,you see,
Putting it all into his rummy little blog
For all the silly asses, like you and me!
and
Fighting out of the Fluffy yet roguish corner we have Dingus
Ode to Well done fillet
As I ponder who will be the ones to vote for me,
I scan the list for those who are not half pissed!
First up is Savannah, I think I can rely on her to give me the Havana !
Daisyfae, I wonder if she will go my way, I wasn't going to mention Nantucket but then I thought, why not? why duck it ?
I worry about how best to approach Sparky, I am told he can be quite narky!
Belfast taxi has nailed his colours to the mast,so when I put my hand out he will sail on past!
I will have to go for the hard sell if I want to impress Mel !
I know it can be hard to please Megan, but I ain't goin beggin!
Sally,Sally with a name like that you must be nice and pally!
To the one with the nom de plume ”Cat” I hope you don't turn out to be a Rat!
Blod may find my prose a bit of a plod, but if he can be kind, he might give me the nod !
Last but not least we have Manuel,he’s the man we can always tell.
Well done Fillet is his life, while all us assholes give him hell !Now my poem is coming to an end, will it be the start for me or am I going round the bend?
My fate is for you to give, but just remember, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!
Much like Highlander there can be only one.
Vote for your favourite below, the winner gets the right to call himself, "Well Done Fillet Poet in Residence". Winner declared midnight-ish on Thursday.
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chuffy is more..poem’y
now i feel badly i do like your poem dingus.
aah the fate of being polite canadian tis mine
I cant decide i like chuffys but i do get a mention with dingus..so i am going to choose the way decide who i vote for at election time.
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe catch a ……….
yes, it’s true, i voted for dingus!
how about you?
xoxoxoxox
Chuffy’s cadence is wanting and his apostrophe use is shockingly atrocious. Might I suggest a gander at Shrunken White?
Dingus is simply pandering to the mob.
I abstain from voting.
CHUFFY!
(Dingus didnt mention me so therefore is OUT!)
Dingus’s poem is so good in an ironic postmodern way that it just has to be him
come on the chuffy…. even though you can’t spell ‘watches’…..
Mmm – while I do agree that Chuffy’s opus is probably the more ‘poetic’, I look at Dingus’ effort and I see elements of despiration, toadying, the conversion of scraps into assumed comeraderie and all topped off with threats and menaces.
Poetry aside, which work do you think encapsulates ‘waiterdom’ the most? Thought so. That’s why it got my vote in the end
-Blod.
Dingus – your over-the-top pandering amounts to verbal baby-kissing! and who doesn’t like having their baby kissed? Congratulations. i’m a sucker for one who knows how to wear a brown snorkel…
My Dear Manuel,firstly,let me thank you for placing the competition in a more organised format.And may the best chap win!
But,on a darker note,I was not aware that I was entering some bally blog version of the Nobel prize for Literature!
In my foolish way,I thought it was all going to jolly,just a bit of whimsy really.
But,no!Professor Ol’ Natesy,has hauled me over the coals for various mistakes in my style. And,what I say is,thank god for jolly old nitpickers like Professor Ol’Natesy, who have nothing better to do,apart from counting paper-clips and repairing the leather-patches on their corduroy strides!
I think we all need to calm down ! Oh,and vote for me as well !
Being a scholar in these matters, I can’t choose between them. Just be glad neither are Andrew Motion.
Oh shh- *achem* poo, this is a tough one.
Dingus your poem is more of a heart throb, and I’ve always had a thing for heart throbs.
BUT Chuffy ooft well done mate, no hard feelins’ eh?
Dingus – +1
Hmmm… it’s a toughie. Are you sure you even want a poet in residence? I’m reminded of the end titles of Blackadder II, being chased around the rose garden by the over-enthusiastic minstrel… or indeed “He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin” from Monty Python and the Holy Grail… cast your vote wisely, people!
Right, as the breakdown in grammar has been proven to be directly linked to the breakdown in society, I am forced to throw my considerable weight behind Dingus.
Ah!I see Professor Ol’Natesy,has come bounding onto the scene again with another puff-faced,pompous pronouncement.After stating quite equivocally that he/she distained to vote for either party,has now come down on the side of Dingus!
A touch of sour-grapes from Professor Ol’Natesy,or possibly a bit of a ditherer! Don’s with rustling black gowns should be more decisive,or the students will look askance!
Now, I simply pointed out two factual faults with Lord Chuffy’s entry. I’m not sure this required a personal attack and name calling.
As for your last post, Mr Chuffington, “distain” means “to dye” or “to colour”. I’m not sure how I coloured to vote. Did you mean “declined to vote”?
Also, in that sentence you have no subject. This makes it hard for a reader to determine your point.
Beyond this you’ve once again misused your apostrophe. Your final sentence should read “Dons with rustling black gowns”, as this is a plural and not a possessive situation. I sat for the longest time trying to determine who Don was, wondering if this was another person posting above.
Also, I believe a Don would wear a robe, not a gown. Mind you, this might be nitpicking.
I’m sorry that you are sensitive about your grammar and punctuation. A bit of study on the internet or via a short course might improve your self-esteem and be quite useful for the workplace. I wasn’t attacking your effort, but was simply giving reasons why I couldn’t reward it with my vote.
Well, I wasn’t going to vote. But after that Qatar Mass Experiment comment I have decided to delight Dingus, the Doyen of Doggerel and throw my vote his way.
Though Chuffy clearly has the better name.
PS what are the preks of the poet in residence, do they have the right to turn up at your place of work demanding special priveliges . . . . like you know, the window seat about an hour before closing on a Friday evening when they haven’t booked? Eat 99% of the food and then complain to the manager and saying they won’t pay?
Thank you Mark ! you have made an old Dingus very happy, alas, the position has no pay or perks,maybe you could have a word with Manuel on my behalf.