Real life Mr Burns breaks waiter’s finger…

And people say I exaggerate the antipathy and aggression of some customers, pfft...

From Gawker,

John Castle, 76-Year-Old Palm Beach Plutocrat, Breaks Insolent Waiter’s Finger.

On Saturday night, according to a complaint filed with the Palm Beach Police Department, he reacted to subpar service by calling his waiter a "schmuck" and breaking his finger. Castle and his wife Marianne, the complaint says, were having dinner at Club Colette, an elite Palm Beach private dining club (restaurants are for poors), when their waiter Paul Kucik made the unforgivable error of bringing them the check. Which is vulgar, I guess? From the report, which was first reported by the Palm Beach Daily News:

On January 8, 2011 at 10:11 p.m., I responded to the Palm Beach Police Department in reference to a complaint in the lobby. I met with the complainant, Paul Kucik, w/m, dob: 11-24-1954 of 2413 NW 7th Street, Boynton Beach FL.

Kucik stated that he was a waiter at Club Colette located at 215 Peruvian Avenue and on the night of January 7, 2012 at approximately 9:00 p.m., he was physically assaulted by a club member known to him as John Castle, who is approximately in his mid 70`s age. Kucik stated that Mrs. Castle requested that Kucik bring her their dinner bill. Kucik stated that when he returned to the Castles` dinner table, Mrs. Castle instructed him to give the bill to her husband, John Castle who was seated across the dinner table from her.

Kucik stated that he attempted to hand Mr. Castle the bill and Mr. Castle became irate with him and yelled, "You schmuck, why did you bring the bill to the table?" Kucik stated that he replied, "because your lady asked for it." Kucik stated while he stood on the left side of Mr. Castle, he (Kucik) attempted to hand Mr. Castle an ink pen. Mr. Castle began ranting and grabbed Kucik`s left hand and began squeezing and twisting his fingers. Kucik stated that Mr. Castle had a very tight grip of his left hand and Kucik had to pull his left hand out of Mr. Castle`s grasp. Kucik stated he was not certain which hand Mr. Castle grabbed his left hand with, but he believed Mr. Castle used his right hand.

Kucik stated that he immediately notified his employer of the incident, but no action was taken. Kucik stated he began experiencing pains in his fingers as a result of Mr. Castle`s actions. Kucik stated that on January 8, 2012 at 9:00 a.m., he went to the M.D. Walk-In Clinic located on Lantana Road. Kucik stated an X-Ray of his fingers indicated that his left ring finger was broken.

I did observe that Kucik`s left ring finger and pinkie finger were wrapped in blue medical tape.

Kucik was uncertain if he wanted to file an Affidavit of Prosecution against Mr. Castle at this time and stated that he would contact the police department within a few days after consulting with an attorney.

At this time, no further action has been taken. End of report.

What a fucking charmer. The stabbing fork is too good for him. I'd make him work shifts as punishment, with me and my Waiter Chums and some other friends called sarcasm, laziness, you fucking do it and pay back.

Pay back, as they say, is a bitch and he would be mine, forever, the Monty Burn's looking, entitlement owing, blood sucking (may not be true), cat sniffing (true - probably), waiter abusing asshole.

Cry havoc Florida based Waiter Chums and let slip the soup bowls of war. I hope he never has a good meal out again.

Hat Tip: to everybody in the world that knows me that sent me links to this...you guys are the real stars...after me, obviously. Heh.