Manuel the Waiter
You’re a what now?
There are numerous words and phrases in the restaurant game that make me want to rip my own ears off and shove them down the pie hole of the person delivering them. Words such as foodie, pudding and supper make my skin crawl. But until yesterday the worst word of all that really really made [...]
Illegal beefing…
Chefs, bless their little cotton weed holders, but they are funny people. They are mainly funny to look at but occasionally they come out with little gems, like this one a chap emailed me with recently... I used to be a chef at a carvery. We had a lovely piece of beef on med-rare amazing [...]
Look, you are not my father…
Sunday afternoon...again. It's always Sunday afternoons. I seated a chap and his delightful young lady friend. They weren't so much as pitching woo but rather hurling barbed comments and pointed insults. There was the occasional break in hostilities and not always when I was at the table. "Yer a fuckin dick wee lad..." [inaudible reply] [...]
Well Done Careers…
I would suggest positions like these don't come up very often - the opportunity to work with one of the founding fathers of modern cuisine, Paul Rankin, in one of the city's most celebrated restaurants, Cayenne. You'd be as daft as a horse in a swimsuit not to seriously consider this position. If you are [...]
When waiters attack…
From CourtNewsUk... Heh, the moral of the story being don't come between a waiter and his/your leftovers and his best pal. Clearly the judge thought so too. I think this gives me licence to threaten if not actually stab*. Should have used a fork though, much classier. * Overreacting idiots get-out clause (there have been a [...]
We have reached the critical point of no return…
As I stood in the rain on Sunday morning talking to a grown man in a Marvel Comics hoody, ill-fitting red trousers and food on his face waiting for a sleepy headed manager to arrive and let us in I began to wonder that somewhere, somehow my life had deviated somewhat from the carefully laid [...]
Retail Therapy #5
Another one from our friendly ex-post office staff member... Young woman comes in: do you have a form for when you have to change your provisional driving license to a full one? me: [hands her a form] her: so do I have to fill it in? me: [dies after face palm] *yeah- really* From a [...]
Oh really? Are you? How Nice…
Ah concerts are great aren't they? From the excitement of finding out your favourite band are playing in a venue near you to going through the unrelenting ball ache of trying to book tickets before every other Tom, Dick and snidey tout gets their hands on them it really is a whirlwind of excitement. Once [...]
Il Pirata – Review
So Il Pirata then. My nearly forty years shuffling about on this mortal coil, 22 of them spent in the service of the demanding and hungry, have left me a cynical, jaded husk of human being. I find myself more at home to misanthropic outlooks than rainbows and love nothing more than wallowing in a [...]
Call me…#1
So I asked for the stories of the Call Centre workers and they duly delivered...after putting me on hold for twenty minutes and asking me for my details five times. Heh, only joking. Being based in Belfast doesn't help... I was once a directory enquiries operator for a mobile phone company. Time was of the [...]
