Dog on a Skateboard…
I was on the radio today,
I spoke at length about the joy of waiting tables and on the topic of customer service in general. My twenty plus years in the game have marked me as an expert in the field and the great and the good call upon me from time to time to postulate over all such issues. There was witty repartee between the presenter, Julian Worricker, and myself and despite his initial hostility I was able to win him over to my argument by carefully demolishing his anti-waiter stance point by point. We are now great mates and he has invited me to summer with him later in the year, we are thinking of Provence.
Of course all this is utter tosh but I had to fill the near fifty minutes I sat waiting in a tiny studio (think fancy cupboard, the cupboard of a show house if you will) at the BBC in Belfast. Day dreaming comes easy to waiters. Obviously there were weightier issues to be discussed before getting onto the inconsequential banter that is, my life. Heh.
The highlight, you'll be delighted to hear, was not my monotone intonation invading the polite homes of the average Radio Four listener but the actors who played out last week's story about the woman returning her shoes to the wrong shop. Oh how I would have laughed out loud like the kids do if I hadn't been so racked with nerves. In the end I had only a few minutes to make my point and was just about to let rip, the moan-o-meter was cranking up to full grumble mode, when I was cut in favour of the news. Rage.
It was at that point that I realised I was the "...and finally" moment, the light-hearted send off. I was the radio equivalent of a dog on a skateboard.
Big thanks to the producer Paul for contacting me. Cheers fella, it was another delightful occasion for Manuel and WDF as we approach our fifth birthday.