As I’m still off work whilst waiting for “Ouchy’s” birth I am devoid of contact with the never ending gift that is your average restaurant guest. So I shall take the time to peruse my correspondence and answer some of your queries and conundrums. There will probably be another Ask Manuel later in the week, [...]

Little Miss Manuel has forbidden me from writing anything more about the goings on in and around my groin. She says it’s both uncouth and a bit, you know, common. Although I do disagree with her assertion that I am getting on like an old fella muttering on to no one in particular about his [...]

When asked by Olive Magazine what their most common restaurant gripe was, readers responded by a whopping 35.8%, saying that inattentive service ruined their special night out the most. Whatever chump. [doing the head/finger shake] It’s always the waiter’s fault eh. I mean it wasn’t the fish that tasted like the remains of road kill [...]

It’s me, Little Miss Manuel with a message from Manuel. After years and years of drinking gallon after gallon of strong black tea Manuel has finally gone and got himself a big dirty dose of kidney stones. He’s in the hospital but is fine apart from the constant moaning about the loud mouth breather in [...]

The restaurant was chocker on Saturday night, every seat was filled and every waiter was under pressure. It was hard to find time to observe the interaction between guests – the playful finger licking and sharing, the teary stories, the belly laughs and the barely contained animosity. Oh yes the waiter sees all. Like I [...]

Good Times! Yes it’s National Waiter Day 2010 and all the waiters, chums of waiters and to a lesser extent waiters families are as excited as doe-eyed children on christmas morning. So don’t piss on our chips, be nice and follow the essential rules to dining success – EAT, PAY, TIP, LEAVE. So today I [...]

Here’s a shitty little story to warm the cockles of your heart. Well warm the cockles of your heart if you are a raging scumbucket with no actual heart having replaced it with the cold shiny metal of a cash tin. It’s also a salutary story about the potential outcome of status updates on the [...]

Friday the 21st of May is National Waiters Day. (It’s a real thing and in no way made up) Now I’m sure the nation in question is the good old US of A but I refuse to let national borders get in the way of an excuse to be exalted, recognised, loved and praised. Mothers, [...]

I was lazing about the house the other afternoon when I was rudely snapped out of my pre-work malaise by a rap-tat-tat from the front door. I do not welcome callers, be they hawkers, traders, opinion seekers or soul worriers. In fact the only caller welcome at my door is the kebab man, we welcome [...]