I very rarely want to hug a customer, but tonight I wanted to hug a customer and tell them everything was going to be okay. I wanted to take their pain away. I wanted to make sure they didn’t do anything silly. Let me tell you the saddest Christmas story ever. A young lady had [...]

threadless It wasn’t a bad year for music. Not the greatest but not bad all the same. Some people should have called it quits, I’m looking at you Billy Gorgan, and you Interpol people should have red faces too. Both managed to produce albums so weak they barely registered as music. Both c.d.’s are being [...]

‘Twas the night before Christmas,when all through the house(restaurant); Not a creature(waiter) was stirring, not even a mouse(Environmental health policies being what they are the mouse was in fact dead) The stockings (tip jar) were hung by the chimney with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas (Rich American tourist) soon would be there; The children (young [...]

this is my first confession…. well Father there was Iraq and the NHS and cash for honours and and and Welcome to the club n that Tony. Don’t forget to pick up your crushing guilt and terrible feeling of self worth with your membership card. But hey it’s not all bad, you can go to [...]

Think about it…. We bring you drink……you people need the drink just to get through the day. We bring you food…if left to your own devices most of you would starve if you had to fend for yourselves. We don’t ride horses, go fishing or hunting with our shirts off……we don’t engage in many out [...]

this is what happens when the broadband isn’t workingsad eh….(original picture removed) Things to do when your broadband is down…. Check your connection every 2 to 3 minutes even though you have already established that the problem isn’t at your end. Develop Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Phone the amusingly named Virgin “Help desk” and mutter things [...]

the hands of a 35 year old waiter I have the hands of an arthritic pensioner. I have a pain in my back that only a coal miner could appreciate. My feet are glowing angry and don’t smell very pretty either. There was a minor case of chef’s arse too which caused me to walk [...]

Ikea the Swedish furniture store/middle-class fairground opens today in Belfast and people are losing their minds. Literally people are going bonkers. I swear my own neighbours are burning their furniture just so that they can go and get some new stuff. South Belfast is drowning in Ikea catalogues, well thumbed Ikea catalogues. It’s all the [...]

that’s a cracker… You have to wonder why some companies bother to go out for Christmas dinner. Some people can barely make eye contact let alone speak to each other. The atmosphere around the perfectly set table (what else would you expect) can range from indifference all the way down to outright hostility. There are [...]