So Saturday was a bit warm eh. The weekend as a whole was one long sweaty damp experience, and not just for me. I actually had respect for the chaps in the kitchen who were toiling under quite extreme conditions. Disappointingly I found myself in the belly of the burning beast, that is to say [...]
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Good Times! Yes it’s National Waiter Day 2010 and all the waiters, chums of waiters and to a lesser extent waiters families are as excited as doe-eyed children on christmas morning. So don’t piss on our chips, be nice and follow the essential rules to dining success – EAT, PAY, TIP, LEAVE. So today I [...]
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I’ve got a question. What the fuck is wrong with people? Eh, but seriously, what is wrong with the world? I arrived at work on Monday to find a chap on the other side of the street sparked out. He was just lying there on the ground for all I and the people walking round [...]
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Here’s a shitty little story to warm the cockles of your heart. Well warm the cockles of your heart if you are a raging scumbucket with no actual heart having replaced it with the cold shiny metal of a cash tin. It’s also a salutary story about the potential outcome of status updates on the [...]
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Friday night and all was well. To be honest all was dull. We were fully booked the rest of the weekend. Not that I cared as I was off Saturday and Sunday and thus missed the highlighted hair and polished teeth of the Rod Stewart crowd. But Friday was quiet. Waiter Chum Number 1.5 had [...]
Read more... Friday the 21st of May is National Waiters Day. (It’s a real thing and in no way made up) Now I’m sure the nation in question is the good old US of A but I refuse to let national borders get in the way of an excuse to be exalted, recognised, loved and praised. Mothers, [...]
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The difference between good food and food so awesome you want to caress it gently and love it like it was your first born child as much as you want to eat it is really not as much as you would think. It’s probably as little as £30. But £30 buys you a much more [...]
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I was lazing about the house the other afternoon when I was rudely snapped out of my pre-work malaise by a rap-tat-tat from the front door. I do not welcome callers, be they hawkers, traders, opinion seekers or soul worriers. In fact the only caller welcome at my door is the kebab man, we welcome [...]
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rock shot © Pablo… awesome what! So Metallica then eh? Those were a fun couple of nights at work as my dainty little restaurant became nothing more than and extended mosh pit in the hours before the gig started. The place was awash with stone washed denim, new Metallica T-shirts, old ripped Metallica t-shirts, old [...]
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Not sure which fork to use with which course? Scared of angering the lovely waiter with silly questions about beetroot? Not sure what to do when the pork tastes like a wrestlers jock strap? Like wine? Like coke? Not sure if you can ask for a pint glass of wine mixed with coke? Worried that [...]
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Saturday night and all was well. I say well but you know what I mean. I had a table of mid nineties indie rock stars to deal with, Echo and the Bunnymen now that you ask. Lovely chaps. The lead singer didn’t join them as he apparently doesn’t get on with the rest of them. [...]
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A study by a Cornell University professor, so it must be true (ha!) has found that waiting staff with “bigger breasts, slender waists and blond hair” make better tips than those not blessed with such attributes. Prof. Michael Lynn asked 374 waitresses to evaluate their physical characteristics, including breast size, and even asked them if [...]
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I’ll not be voting today. I didn’t reach this decision lightly. I considered the options, such as they are, and decided I would be doing myself and what few principles I have a huge disservice by voting for any of the rabble that make up the political elite in this country. Spoiled votes for the [...]
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There are two types of people – fine upstanding individuals with taste and style who appreciate the magnificence of the coconut finger and then there are those “people” who like beetroot. I need to know how many of the Well Done Fillet readership prefer the ghastly beetroot over the sweet sticky loveliness of a coconut [...]
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Good question today. Not saying the previous queries weren’t good but this is a good question. The vexed issue of substituting. Rafa Benitez should read this. Heh, idiot. From reader Plongeur: I have one for you…how do I wangle substitutions without receiving both the wrath of the kitchen and the waiter? I’m not a picky [...]
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Three day weekends eh. Good times, for most. For waiters and chums of waiters it’s just an extra day at the coal face with giddy people being extra giddy about not having to go to work on a Monday. Not that I am bitter, much. My waiter chums were lambasting me for my miserable bank [...]
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My work chums and I are running the Belfast City Marathon Relay on the 3rd of May for The Northern Ireland Hospice. The hospice is a very special place that cares for very ill people in the latter stages of their lives. They receive some funding from government but still need to raise about £5m [...]
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rock stars…pfft I am meeting a chum for lunch on Wednesday. He is one of my oldest chums and a jolly good one at that. Like most of my chums, mates, acquaintances and the other souls that drift both in and out of my life he is a sometime rock star. My chums don’t live [...]
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