Strong Legs…

I was reminded of this short video the other day thanks to a tweet by the living legend that is Fred Sirieix when he said,

"The un-smart/sleepy waiter needs to have strong legs to walk back to those tables/places where he forgot to do/bring something"

a waitress who makes a terrible mistake.

Dir.Writer - W. McColm

acted by wendy mccolm

ouch...

Whilst this is an extreme example it is sometimes very hard to go back to a table where you have ballsed up. It ain't so bad if your crime, no matter how hideous, is committed towards the end of the meal. But if like me you have referred to the lady of the table not once, not twice but three times as sir, mate and chum then you will beg and plead with your waiter colleagues to switch tables. Fair enough if she had been a unmuzzled weather-bitten canker-blossom of a woman but she wasn't, she was a sweetheart. Not that that matters, I mean at the age of 39 one should be able to tell the sexes apart even in these times of androgyny and hipsterness.

 Let me tell you dear reader, you will evoke the name of the Lord and Iron Man and Iron Man 2 and all the superheroes to help find a way so that you don't have to go back to that table.

But sometimes you just have to suck it up and get on with your job. Sometimes you get away with it if your apology is heartfelt and your face is as scarlet red as the wine you've spilled. And sometimes people just get up and leave no matter what you say, or because of what you've said like the time I asked a lady if everything was okay as she passed me at the bar...

From January 2011

As she walked towards me again, clutching her handbag as ladies tend to do when returning or indeed going to the bathroom, I smiled and asked her if she need anything.

"No I'm fine, I was just at the bathroom"

Which is an answer that requires no further reply or query.

Except I did. I pushed further. I queried that which requires no querying.

"And was everything ok?", I asked of the polite middle-aged lady who stared back at me in horror.

"Yes...eh...thank you"

Her table abandoned their sweet menus and left five minutes later.

Fred is right, it does take strong legs to return to the scene of the crime...