We take your complaints seriously…honest we do.
I skipped (lies, I got a taxi . I haven't' skipped since I was seven) of to work on Monday with the calm centre of one of those dreadful new agey types. My chakra was aligned or healed or glowing whatever the hell a chakra is meant to do. My worry lines were smooth and [...]
How Rude! (again)
I love restaurant customers, I really do. I mean some of my best friends are restaurant customers. Even some of my family are restaurant customers and I get on really well with them, mostly. And I really don't care what they do and say in the privacy of their own dining rooms - nose mining, [...]
How Rude!
A moment after telling the party of five on table twelve that this evening's soup was butternut squash the matriarch of the family replied with, "And this butternut squash soup, is it spicy or bland?" Bland? What sort of question is that. Bland? I'll bland her. How rude!
No Need!
"And ladies your coffee...", says the charming waiter as he sets down the two cups of black coffee, as requested, for the two women. There was no response. One learns to live with these things though. "Black coffee wasn't it ladies...you don't need milk?", says the charming and attentive waiter with the cutsey milk jug [...]
Probably shouldn’t have done that…
So Tuesday night and not a mouse stirred throughout the restaurant, not that we have mice or any other sort of vermin for that matter. Basically I am trying to convey a picture of quietness. Dawson Wam had lodged himself in the office and I was left on my lonesome to amuse myself how I [...]
The Little People…?
Like I said yesterday I really don't bother listening into to other people's conversations, plus with a dodgy right ear I only ever really hear one side of the conversation. But occasionally it's hard not to over hear things you probably weren't supposed to. It was a couple of weeks ago, a Friday lunch, and [...]
Perspective, it’s not a type of window…
Restaurant guests, are on the whole, a dramatic group of people. Some guests, like some waiters, are really far more dramatic than is required. I know I shouldn't generalise because not all guests wet their mid-priced pants over the smallest of issues. There was a chap the other evening who lost his mind because the [...]
Manuel and the case of the missing blue blazer…
Restaurant customers, even after they've left they still manage to angry up the blood. Sunday morning and I was polishing my second tray of cutlery. The music system was set to some Al Green, Stevie Wonder and others. All was well in my world. I had a fistful of forks in one hand a cup [...]
Eat food, not face…
"Ahem...cough cough" No response. "Ahem, 'scuse me...cough cough" Still no response. The plates weren't getting any lighter. But still they took no notice, locked as they were in a slurpy embrace. "EXCUSE ME, AHEM...COUGH COUGH COUGH!" Sweet mother of the holy hidden priest and dioceses swapping was this getting old and heavy. I knew there [...]
We are not here to serenade you…
Birthday's eh. No matter age you are don't we all just love getting a little gift and maybe a cake and is there anything nicer than your friends and family gathering round you to sing 'Happy Birthday'? I'm sure the chap that was taken out for lunch last week by his work colleagues thought much [...]
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