The less you know and see the better…
I've never understood people who watch behind-the-scenes extras on DVDs or worse, actually seek out the special five disc DVD with director's commentary and all that. What's the point in that? Surely it just ruins the magic eh? I made the mistake of watching the behind-the-scenes on the Matrix DVD. I mean all I see [...]
What has been seen cannot be unseen…
First weekend of January done then and no waiters harmed or dead through boredom. Which to be honest is the best you can hope for. It was an unremarkable weekend the highlight coming early the other evening. "Listen, is there any sign of our food coming anytime soon?", asked the large hairy man. He lumbered [...]
Read. My. Menu.
Ah there's nothing more fun that realising your first table on Sunday afternoon is booked a full hour before you are open. That's right a full hour before we actually open. It's a special time we reserve for polishing cutlery whilst chowing down on bacon sandwiches and rocking out to, actually it's always some hippity [...]
It’s not romantic and you’re a pervert.
Ah is there anything more romantic and exciting than a first date? Hmmmm? Well for this cynical fat mess I say being alone in a darkened room with a cup of tea and a selection of mini pies, both savoury and sweet, is all the romance I need but polite society and convention, and Little [...]
Ronald’s Gonna Get You…
Now I'm all for people defending themselves, especially those who work in hospitality, but this...this a wee touch too much eh? And I'm not joking, this is brutal. Careful now. Can I have a Big Mac and coke, PLEASE? The Daily Mail would call that self defence...well if he was white they would. Have a [...]
Lady and a Tramp…
I'M ALIVE! Which is nice. So it seems that it takes more than a bit of tummy rumble to kill me, nice try world, nice try. Last week was fun - fun like trapping your hand in the door and have a fat man pin it in there until it fell off, finger by finger. [...]
How to confuse and anger your waiter…
There are many many ways to perplex and confuse a waiter. We waiters live in a perfect world (of our own creation) and the slightest thing out-of-place or order can throw us off-balance. Customers switching seats after they have ordered is one. We have plotted where you are sitting or rather where the sea bass [...]
Ask Manuel – Noisy Neighbours…
A reader, Victoria, writes, So you go for a lovely meal and the people on the table next to you are complete asshat gobshites. Do you, the diner, a) keep shtum and stew on it, b) tell them to shut up or c) expect the waiter to sort it? I shall Ask Manuel! Teh Grauniad [...]
Dumb, Dumber and Rapey.
The film Titanic was released in 1997. It made $1,843,201,268 at the box office taking $8,658,814 on its opening day. It was the number one movie in the US and Canada for a record beating 15 weeks, which is a record it still holds. It won four Golden Globes and was nominated for 14 Academy [...]
The Great, The Awesome and the very Fucking Stooopid
Oh my, what a weekend. Dinner and cocktails at The Merchant and Tedford's and a fabulous lunch on Sunday at Cayenne (review to follow later in the week). I'm buggered now to be honest, as full as a shuck. Good times. Belfast has some tremendous restaurants with affable, friendly, personable and downright great staff and [...]
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