Thanks and good night…
Right, where was I?
Oh yeah, I remember.
As I sit down to write this post, well any WDF post, I have all the little bits n bobs to hand that I need - tea, one mug of black with two teabags left in, Moleskine of notes (I could have just said notepad but what's the point of using a Moleskine if you don't tell people?), a bitter story of customers most horrid and Explosions in the Sky providing me with a wordless soundtrack to ease my stream of sweary consciousness from brain to blog.
Everything is in place and yet something is missing, the vital element in any WDF post other than made up words and uncensored expletives.
I've lost my mojo kids.
Recent events have forced me into a review of everything. For one thing an anonymous blog works best when its, you know, anonymous and to be fair I am as out as it gets. But thank you to everyone who played along with the secret. Knowing this puts strains on what I can really write and what I'd like to write about. This means I'm holding back and I never wanted to hold back, I wanted to take down the rude and cunty with two barrels of waiterly righteousness on a daily basis. Feels now I can only feyly slap them with a napkin no matter the nature of their hideous crimes - nose picking, mouth breathing, finger clicking, stiffing or general slapped arseness.
Up with that I can not put.
Also the pressure to write and publish on a daily basis has taken its toll not only on me personally but on friendships and relationships too.
So for the second, and final, time I'm calling it a day.
I thank you all, dear readers, from the bottom of my heart for the shits 'n giggles over the last five plus years. It's been a blast. Special thanks to my Waiter Chums and Chums of Waiters both past and present for providing me with so many stories. You kids rock my fat wee world. Oorah!
I have some other plans - the much talked about but never actually penned book for one and hopefully I'll be writing in some other places. I will also continue to post restaurant views but probably on Facebook.
Hopefully you get the point by now, be nice to your waiter. We are good people, mostly. Heh.
So like I say to departing guests every evening, "Thanks and good night."
I totally understand, but…
Ok, it’s about you, not me, so, be well, sweetpea! I’ll miss reading WDF, but as you said, “Thanks and good night.”
(i miss you already, sugar. i hope you’ll come over every once and a while and leave a word or two.)
xoxoxoxoxoxox
And I never even got to use the badger cannon! *wanders off muttering*
Oh no. This blog made me smile so much. And it’s not even April 1st. =(
Good luck with your continued waitering and may the terrible customers fall on their bottoms as soon as they step outside your hallowed halls.
Aww no, Manny! :’( What a bombshell…I don’t really know what to say.
All I can offer right now are e-hugs, and I’ll be ’round for one of your epic steaks as soon as I get back from Cornwall.
Maybe I’ll find you some new legos too
xo
Chin chin…
Wow! That can’t have been easy lmm x
Thank you Manuel. Your blog hasn’t half given me some laughs, not to mention a few WTFs?
*internet tips*
It’s been an honour and a privilege, big man.
i think i’ll just nip off for a wee cry, good luck manuel always here for ya
Sorry to hear it but understood,thanks for the laughs and/or abuse. Will be missed but I’m sure if I just click my fingers…..ooh right! May your tips be folded
It’s a very sad day – Ur posts always brightened up my coffee breaks
It’s been a blast my friend, good luck — and see you soon!
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:
A glass is raised to you sir. Thank you for the stories and good luck with the next phase.
Shellshocked.
you deserve a rest, but even so yer rare insights, sharp wit & humour into a world previously unknown will be missed. Godspeed Manuel!
Such a shame to see one of Ni’s best bloggers saying Goodbye! We’ll miss you & I Look forward to seeing you online very very soon
Will miss WDF. Good Luck with everything else you do
No! No! No! Say it ain’t so! Please?
A man’s gotta do… You’ve given me plenty of laughs and I thank you for that.
You say that you are “out” but I’ve never picked up on the hints, so…before you go, any chance of spilling the employment beans?
Gutted……And I only just saved up enough to buy the Tshirt and the coaster!! Going to really miss you sir and as others have said, from time to time when the ire rises, the blog waits and we wait with it…… Can’t wait for the book. Hats off sir!
Very disappointed. I was soooo much nicer to my customers knowing that I could hear you describe yours.
Good Luck!!
Ah man! I may be one of the few who still doesn’t know your secret(ish) identity. Hope to read your curmudgeonly opinions elsewhere. May your tips always be plentiful and your customers mostly not tittish.
Ah mate, certainly not a post I expected to read!!!
I am in a little shock. The work you have produced consistently over the past 18 months has been nothing short of prolific….hilarious…..inspirational & above all else unique! Loved every word.
It’s been a pleasure keeping your identity under wraps from virtually every Chef, restaurateur, foodie, blogger & customer lol….Fair play!
I’ll miss your posts & there’s a page free on the Pimp site for the odd restaurant review any time you want.
In the thick of it over here, but very much look forward to grabbing a coffee when I’m back.
Take care
Manuel, thanks so much for brightening my days. Hope to read your book when it comes out! Enjoy your extra time away! Cheers!
Thanks for the laughs Manuel, you will be missed. I did work out who you were ages ago but have kept it to myself
I must visit your establishment some time soon and say hello.
Ah, mate. It’s a sad day. I’ve always loved reading your posts. Keep the stabbing fork niiiice and rusty, won’t you? Thanks for all the words, laughs and gasps of horror – you’ve inspired me, you really have.
*walks away with bottom lip wobbling*
A sad day for all who have followed you over the years, but y’gotta do what y’gotta do… honoured to have shared so many of your ups and downs, muchacho. May your tips jar overflow and your Moleskine be chock-full of ideas. You’ve made this crazy ol’ world that little bit brighter.
What a sad day. Nobody rants like you, Manuel, it brings joy to my heart and a little bit of steely maliciousness towards the idiots in my day. I am going to miss you a lot. All the best, my (virtual and one-sided) friend.
Damnit Man!! What am I supposed to do for my late night chuckle? Yiz will be sairly missed.
You’ve forced me into it, it’s Alan Bennett tomorrow night.
Maybe one day I will get to buy you that gin and tonic (I think I owed you 3 at the last count)
Take care and be lucky x
although you’ll be missed, i certainly understand. since i’ve gotten all happy, and stopped worrying about what goes on with the extended family? my mojo is on a bit of a walkabout as well… you know where i am, and i’ll find you out and about on the effbooks! all the best to you, dear man!
Thanks for all the amusement over the years, and best of luck… I’ve massively enjoyed the blog for a long time now, and I hope everything works out for you in the future.
Thanks for all the laughs, and all the best in the future.
Thank you so much for brightening my day with every post. You will be missed terribly, and I hope that this change brings you what you are looking for. Best wishes!
I’ll miss your posts but onwards to brighter and better things! Best of luck with whatever comes next!
So very sad to see the end of WDF – it’s been a joy to read and laugh at over the last few years and you’ll be sorely missed. Will look forward to seeing your eloquent sarcasm tinged musings elsewhere in due course. Along with the laughs, I think we’ve all learned to treat our waiter chums a bit better, for the fear of feeling your wrath – you, Manuel, have made NI a better place for waiterkind. Good luck. x
Adios Amigo. Look to the future…one kitchen door closes, another opens. I look forward to interviewing you for the launch of your book!
Dude – your posts have always been entertaining and most enlightening !
Wish you all the best –
Ps I promise I will always be nice to the waiter.
A
AWK! sake….
Awh, sad to see this. Thanks for the tales and giggles Manuel. I’ll be buying that book of yours when it comes out.
I’ll miss your rantings – good luck in the future. – ps. Are you Batman?
yes…
A SAD DAY! But 5 years is a long time. I struggle to keep it going at times too, and life does suffer.
However, it has been wonderful reading your ramblings and I look forward to reading them elsewhere
Niamh x
BooHOOOO!!!! Have looked forward to your blog first thing in the morning to start my day off with a snicker.
Thank you for all your hard work, tales and snarkiness, please know you made the life of a former chef that much brighter every time she fell of her chair laughing at rude customers, twisted chefs and dimbulb waitrons.
You will be missed very much in my email mailbox!!
Best of luck in the future to whatever endevors you set your hand at, I know you will succeed! Cheers and a raised Guinness to you!
Thank you for your work, it’s always been a pleasure to read and I completely understand your need to move on to bigger and better things; you’ve proved you can do it now.
I wrote this a while back from prompts in your posts, can’t remember if I sent shared it with you or not so here it is as a fond farewell.
-Blod.
The Waiter’s Sonnet.
If you would spend your time in pleasant dining
And grace yourself with epicurean airs,
Be mindful, when at table you’re opining
That there’s someone stood behind you forming theirs.
You can sniff the wine and coat your spoon with sauces,
Be the big-man to the ladies and the men,
Be an arse to both the waiter and the waitress but
Now your dirty secret’s out – what then?
Tip! With generosity and favour.
Tip until it’s coming out their ears
For they’ve no loyalty to cover your behaviour
And they’ll share it on the interwebs for years.
So enjoy good food and company when you’re able
But always leave sweet folding on the table!
Ha – lovely work, Blod!
touched….**runs away sobbing loudly**
aw nooooo…. now what will I read with my morning cuppa tea
good luck with the book!
You don’t happen to have the number of the samaratians do you? I kid I kid
good luck man with the book deal , thanks for * Almost* making me pee myself laughing.
Y’all take care now …. Xxxx
oh Manuel
yours was the first blog I ever really read, to the point where I went back to the beginning and read every.single.entry during my last fortnight of maternity leave (oh the mummy guilt is always strong!).
hope you leave this up to keep us informed of any book news in the future etc, but we will miss you!
All the best and take care…
Nooooooooooo……
Dammit, you were one of the good ones. If you get a book out of this pm the info please.
You are easily my favorite waiter blog, whhhhy???
**upset hiccup**
About time too. I never rated you.
*Shit! Did I say that aloud?*
Bye!!! I will miss you!! Thank you! I feel like I lost a friend today, but life goes on and you do what you gotta do. Is it funny/weird that we can become attached to someone through their words? And that someone’s words take up an amount of time in the daily routine. No good at good byes as you can tell.
Exactly. What Leo said. and I never thought I’d say this but….Thank god for Facebook! I’ll be keeping tabs on you over there. (and you will wonder ” Who is this person that keeps commenting on m y posts as if she knows me? its almost as if she read my blog every day for 5 years”).