Thanks and good night…
Right, where was I?
Oh yeah, I remember.
As I sit down to write this post, well any WDF post, I have all the little bits n bobs to hand that I need - tea, one mug of black with two teabags left in, Moleskine of notes (I could have just said notepad but what's the point of using a Moleskine if you don't tell people?), a bitter story of customers most horrid and Explosions in the Sky providing me with a wordless soundtrack to ease my stream of sweary consciousness from brain to blog.
Everything is in place and yet something is missing, the vital element in any WDF post other than made up words and uncensored expletives.
I've lost my mojo kids.
Recent events have forced me into a review of everything. For one thing an anonymous blog works best when its, you know, anonymous and to be fair I am as out as it gets. But thank you to everyone who played along with the secret. Knowing this puts strains on what I can really write and what I'd like to write about. This means I'm holding back and I never wanted to hold back, I wanted to take down the rude and cunty with two barrels of waiterly righteousness on a daily basis. Feels now I can only feyly slap them with a napkin no matter the nature of their hideous crimes - nose picking, mouth breathing, finger clicking, stiffing or general slapped arseness.
Up with that I can not put.
Also the pressure to write and publish on a daily basis has taken its toll not only on me personally but on friendships and relationships too.
So for the second, and final, time I'm calling it a day.
I thank you all, dear readers, from the bottom of my heart for the shits 'n giggles over the last five plus years. It's been a blast. Special thanks to my Waiter Chums and Chums of Waiters both past and present for providing me with so many stories. You kids rock my fat wee world. Oorah!
I have some other plans - the much talked about but never actually penned book for one and hopefully I'll be writing in some other places. I will also continue to post restaurant views but probably on Facebook.
Hopefully you get the point by now, be nice to your waiter. We are good people, mostly. Heh.
So like I say to departing guests every evening, "Thanks and good night."